Harmless Heart
by Faith1
Summary: Heero finally admitts he has feeling for Duo, but what happens when Duo rejects him? The final test, can Wufei restore Heero and Quatre to their former selves? *Part 18 up* 2x1 *Complete*
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Heres a lickle angsty idea thatt popped into my head on night.  If enough people like it I'll continue it, if not, it will drift into the oblivion of memory . . .

I'd say enjoy, but I'm not sure that's possible.  Oh and I know Heero's ooc, if the fic gets continued it will explain why he's so different later.

Warnings – Yaoi, angst, ooc Heero

Disclaimer – I, Faith, hereby declarethat I do not in any way shape or form own GW, or am making any money of this fic . . .clear enough 4 ya?!

You said you were afraid to trust 

So sorry for yourself it must be hard 

Living inside your head

          "Heero, I, I don't know what to say . . ." Duo stammered, for once he was lost for words.  Heero's open blue eyes immediately dulled, his expression of yearning instantaneously reverting to the usual blank mask that he so often wore.  Noticing that the Japanese youth had taken Duo's lack of eloquency as rejection the braided boy shook his head.  "No, Heero don't," he spoke as the Perfect Soldier began to turn away.

          "I understand," Heero said, his monotonous voice hiding emotion, but Duo could detect the slight flicker of desolation in those intense prussian blue eyes.  "You don't feel the same way," he once again tried to walk away but was stopped by Duo's hand tightly gripping his shoulder.

          "It's not that," Duo replied softly, a small smile ghosted around his lips as he saw that fragile hope return to those intense orbs.  /A shame I have to destroy it, / he thought sadly.

          "Then what is it?" Heero asked, flawlessly disguising the nervousness that was devouring him inside.  

          "I don't want to hurt you Heero," Duo murmured lifting a pale hand to gently caress the ZERO pilots' cheek, marvelling at its softness.

          "You won't hurt me," Heero whispered, the last remnants of his mask shattering, as he turned his cheek into Duo's hand like the love-starved boy he was.  He let his eyes drift shut, allowing himself to savour the rare moment of comfort, missing the sad smile that rose on Shinigami's lips.

          "Ah, but I will," he replied bitterly.  "I can't let myself love you Heero, if I do . . .It's like a disease you see, anyone I love is dead within a month . . .You deserve more than that, you're Perfect, ne?"

I'm no angel in disguise

I've had my share of alibis

But I was true to you

I meant every word I said

          "Duo. . ." Heero began, his voice losing its monotonous veil, an unbidden hint of distress creeping into it as Duo interrupted him.

          "I didn't think the Perfect Soldier could feel emotion," Duo mused aloud, then immediately regretted the words even as they left his mouth, /I never did learn to think before I speak!/.  Hearing the harsh words caused Heero to recoil, pulling away from Duo's hand, hurt washing over him.  Seeing Heero's reaction stilled the apology on the American's tongue.  Duo knew that he couldn't allow himself to get close to the Japanese boy, couldn't put himself through that kind of pain again.  He couldn't violate his own code of honour and tell Heero a lie.  He had to find another means to drive him away.  This could be it.

You can run, you can hide

Love will still come to find you

You turn it away

Keep romancing your pain 

You're the best at self-defence

I say you've mastered the art

But baby mine was a harmless heart.

          "I don't think you really do love me," Duo state mercilessly, The Great Destroyer now bent on completing his mission.  No lies left Duo's mouth, instead he flung the doubts that plagued him at his fellow pilot.  "You're just a killing machine, machines aren't capable of love!"

          "I'm not a machine!" Heero denied vehemently, feeling raw and exposed without his Perfect Soldier guise. His heart clenched in pain, why was Duo saying these things?

          "You could have fooled me!" Duo scoffed, losing himself to his alter ego.  "You're a cold-blooded killer Yuy!  Me and the others fight 'cus we have no choice, but it's all you're good for!  How could I ever bring myself to love a thing like you?" Duo blinked as the words he uttered brought himself back to himself /What am I doing?/, he wondered in horrified confusion.  He looked up at the man he loved against his will and felt a twinge of guilt raced through him.  Heero's head was bowed forward, messy moss-brown bangs obscuring his eyes.  "Heero?" Duo called timidly.

In your eyes I'm like the rest

You set me up to fail the test

And prove that you were right

Everyone lets you down

          Duo stretched out a delicate hand once more but this time, instead of welcoming his touch, Heero stepped away from it.  

          "Don't," the voice was so quiet and full of feeling that it took the American a second to register that it actually Heero spoke.  

          Heero burned with anguish; he had thought that he knew Duo, that the other boy would understand him, comfort him, love him.  Instead of the lovable baka he had fallen for, he was met with the full force of Shinigami . . .and the impact had scattered the few precious remaining pieces of his soul.

You can run, you can hide

Love will still come to find you

You turn it away

Keep romancing your pain 

You're the best at self-defence

I say you've mastered the art

But baby mine was a harmless heart.


	2. Default Chapter

WARNINGS – Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero, ummm, that's all I think! ^_^;;

Heero opened his mouth to deny Duo's harsh words but found himself silenced by doubt.  The only memories he held of his past were of pain, blood, torment, death, all leading towards a singular goal; the creation of the Perfect Soldier.  The Perfect Soldier, a being capable of destruction without the burden of emotion, in other words, a killing machine.  Duo was right.  His hands were stained and his soul was tainted far beyond that of any other Gundam pilot.  

Heero's eyes became stormy as he struggled for breath, finding himself lost in a sea of memories.  There was no place in his memory for parental figures, no caring mother, no protective father had ever held him close.  Early memories consisted only of Odin Lowe, the merciless assassin to whom Heero became protégée.  After the untimely death of Lowe the young boy found himself in the cruel claws of ruthless scientist Dr J.  At that point the trails he had undergone with Odin seemed trivial, the Doctors obsession with perfection led him to visit every imaginable form of torture upon the young Heero.  Love had never been something he had either received or gave.  What room was there for love when dodging guards on an assassination or in the laboratories that would forever haunt his dreams?  How could he know that what he felt for Duo was love when he had never experienced it before?  It could simply be a strong bond of friendship or a case of teenage lust for all he knew.  Thousands of questions and arguments clawed there way into his mind, all of them causing him to doubt that he was truly capable of love.

            The final question now faced Heero.  Could he really expect Duo to love him?  In his mind the answer had now been made clear.  No.  He could not.  Duo Maxwell was warm, caring, funny, popular, emotional, charismatic, gorgeous*, the list was endless.  He was everything Heero was not.  The Deathscythe pilot could have anyone he desired.  Why had Heero been so foolish to believe that he would be the one Duo chose?  

            Those terrible words had caused Heero to fall from his usually stable universe and spin out of control.  He reached that strange precipice where blind panic and blank calm rest hand in hand.  His mind shied away from the intense emotional pain that broke over him in waves and began fumbling for his ingrained conditioning: emotions must be shut down.  Heero mentally reached for the internal trigger and found, to his horror, that it no longer worked.  By finally acknowledging his feelings for his fellow pilot he had destroyed the conditioning both he and Duo had struggled to break down.  The sudden and unexpected collapse of his walls left him open, vulnerable, weak.  Easy to attack.  Easy to destroy.  Easy to break.  

*          *          *

            /I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. /  An endless litany of these two words ran like a mantra through Duo's head.  Heero Yuy had placed his most valuable possession, his heart, into Duo's hands.  Instead of cherishing it like the fragile object that it was, he had chosen to crush it.  Violet eyes studied the silent figure before him with concern.  The ZERO pilot's eyes were still hidden from him, his shoulders were slumped forwards in a position of defeat and a fine tremor shook his wiry frame.  It was the first time that Duo had seen the Japanese boy off his guard, even sleeping there was a tension held in his body and the slightest noise was a danger signal that would rouse him.  At this moment in time however Duo thought that it would be possible for a whole troop of OZ soldiers to sneak up on the Perfect Soldier, he was that deep in his internal battle.  The braided boy bit his lip, remorse sweeping over him causing his thoughts to run wild.  /I'm sorry, oh God Heero!  Please!  Get angry, get hysterical, just please don't break! /

            Unconsciously he reached out for Heero again, causing the other boy to stumble away from him, still refusing to look at Duo.  Reacting on a instinct, on the pure need to see what was going on inside Heero's soul the Deathscythe pilot closed the gap between them and grabbed Heero's chin, forcing the troubled boy to meet Duo's eyes.  Heero's eyes were supposed to be full of intensity, dedication and inner strength, now there were dull, empty . . .broken . . .  
            Heero Yuy tore himself away from Duo's grip, unable to deal with the American's closeness and the assault of his consciousness. In desperation the shorthaired boy adopted Duo's own policy, he ran.  Duo watched him leave with an aching in his heart trying, and failing, to reassure himself that he had done the right thing.

            /I'm sorry, /

*          *          *

            Heero entered his room and shut the door behind him.  He sat down on the end of his bed and stared blankly at the wall.  The pain had subsided for the moment leaving feeling dead and empty inside.  

            /Ni-chan are you lost? /  

            /I've been lost all my life. /  

            An echo of the past.  /I'm still lost. /  He thought in a strange detached manner.  The beeping of his laptop startled him from his reverie.  He walked over and accessed the new information Dr J had transmitted to him.  It was a mission.  Standard procedure, solo mission, leave immediately, destroy some enemy guards, blow up an OZ base.  Heero felt almost grateful for the excuse to get away from the safe house, away from Duo.  He quickly typed in his acceptance and began to gather the necessary supplies.

*          *          *

            A day later a figure stumbled into the safe house of the Gundam pilots.  It climbed the stairs and entered the bathroom, locked the door and promptly threw up into the toilet.  Crystal tears dripped from prussian blue eyes, caught for a moment on sooty eyelashes before trekking down pale cheeks.  The Perfect Soldier sank to the cold tiled floor and sat there trembling.  His eyes burned, his mouth was dry an tasted of vomit, his chest heaved as wracking sobs shook his body.  Visions of the battle h had just fought filled his tormented mind.  The smell of blood, the sound of bones being crushed, the sight of mobile suits being engulfed in flame.  He wrapped his hands around his knees and curled into the foetal position as for the first time since he had been five years old Heero Yuy felt the full force of the heart wrenching guilt, remorse and self-disgust that comes with the taking of life.

To be continued . . .

*Heero is gorgeous, in my humble opinion, but these are his thoughts and well, Hee-chan has self-esteem issues . . .can you really blame him after what he's been through?

In regard to that last paragraph I know it seems really ooc for Heero but that's the whole point of this fic.  He's experiencing the battle like its his first, and it is without his conditioning.  He can still fight and everything, its just that he feels guilty now . . .does that make any sense?  At all?  *Sighs* Never mind, R&R please!


	3. Default Chapter

WANRINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero, Heero torture, hints of NCS (Non-consensual sex, rape), my list grew and unfortunately it's getting worse!  Do you think the rating should be upped?  The angsty stuffs only mentioned briefly but I never know what rating its worth! ^_^;;

Thank yous – dazed, Lara Winner, shadowofthevampireangel, Munchkin, Alexial, The Merlin, me, Myst (Ur ficcies rawk! ^_^), Rolling Stone, Firestar, Broken Angel, Drop Kick 120, !$!$!$! (No u can't kill Duo!  *Hugs Duo*) and wingfright (Did u get my email?).  Thank u all 4 the great reviews . . .awww, group hug!!  No, come back!  *sweatdrops*  The fic must go on!

            "Heero?  Open the door, this is not funny!"  Duo yelled as he pounded on the door to the bathroom.  Thirty minutes ago Heero had returned from his mission and instead of heading straight to his room in order to type up mission reports he had locked himself in the bathroom.  "For crying out loud," Duo cursed under his breath, shifting from foot to foot in nervous apprehension.  Emotions swirled through pools of violet as he waited for Heero to respond.  Fear.  Terrified that Heero would become suicidal.  Guilt.  The emptiness in those blue eyes forever haunting him.  Relief.  A hurt Heero now was better than a dead Heero and a broken-hearted Duo.  Love.  Always love.

            The door opened.  The Japanese boy stalked out of the bathroom, pushed his way past Duo and disappeared into him room; slamming the door behind him.  Duo stood frozen for a second, eyes wide, as he finally registered that the blur that had just rushed past him was indeed Heero.  Shaking his head he dismissed the shorthaired boys actions, finding peace in the fact that Heero hadn't been trying to end his life in the bathroom.  The peace however was short lived and within seconds he found that the irritating anxiousness had returned. /I need to keep busy! /  An idea appeared in Duo's mind, causing him to grin happily, it was about time he spent some quality moments with his buddy, Death Scythe.

            Duo stalked into the hanger, moving silently as only he could when not wanting to be detected.  Three of the five infamous gundams stood before him.  Shenlong, also affectionately dubbed Nataku by a certain short tempered Chinese man, who was at this very moment sitting in the open cockpit, oblivious to Duo's presence, fine tuning the delicate machine of mass destruction.  Two empty spaces marked the absence of the gundams Sandrock, Heavyarms and their respective pilots; the pair were put together as partners in a mission even more than he and Heero.  Even in the bright light of the hanger Death Scythe seems to be shrouded in shadow.  The machine was as renowned for its stealth as he was and the two made an excellent duo, if you will excuse the pun.  Then there was Wing ZERO.  Duo raised his eyebrow as he surveyed the damage that had been inflicted on the machine.  Heero would have to pull an all nighter in order to complete the repairs in time for their next scheduled mission.  The American boy made a mental note to make certain that Heero took time out to eat and drink.  He knew that the pilot had a major tendency to become totally focused on completing the task and forget to tend to his own needs.  Duo felt even more determined to look after him in the light that he had already inflicted emotional turmoil on the boy and this served as a way to ease his guilt.  

            "YO WU-MAN!!!"  Duo decided to reveal his presence to the other pilot and watched with a grin on his face as Wufei nearly hit his head on the roof of the cockpit.

            "Kisama Maxwell!" Wufei swore angrily.  "I was concentrating!  If you have to be here kindly be quiet so I can continue my work!"  Duo gave the ranting boy a mock salute and a wink before snatching up his necessary tools and sauntering over to his other half.  He knew that Heero would be there in approximately twenty minutes, after finishing his mission report, to begin repairs on Wing.  Duo set his alarm on his watch to go off in three hours, at which point he would drag Heero away from his work and force him to eat something.  An image of empty blue eyes flashed in his mind, causing his step to falter.  Pushing the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach to the back of his mind Duo immersed himself in complex codes and constructs as he focused entirely on checking systems that could mean his life or death in the heat of battle.

*          *          *

            Heero Yuy lay curled up in his bed, the duvet pulled up to his chin, as he trembled like a five year old who thought they had seen a monster.  Heero had seen a monster.  Himself.  His own maniacal laughter rang in his mind.  He had murdered hundreds of people, innocent people with husbands and wives and children, and he had laughed.  His laptop sat on his desk, unopened and unattended as Heero cried himself to sleep.

            "Failure means death!  Do you understand me 01?!" *Slap* "Answer me boy!"

            "In order to become perfect there must be no regret, no conscience, no emotion.  Life is cheap 01, especially yours.  You better get used to taking life soon or I'll let the guards play with you again and you wouldn't want that now would you?"

            "A good soldier can withstand any form of torture without breaking.  We will see if you are good enough 01 . . .Guards!"

            In his sleep Heero began to scream.

To be continued . . .

Don't thwap me!  I meant it to be longer but that just seemed like such a good place to end it!  I'll get the next part out soon to make up for it!  Please R&R!


	4. Default Chapter

WARNINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero, Heero torture, hints of NCS (Non-consensual sex, rape), abuse of Wufei's name . . .that's all! ^_^

Thank yous – moonbunny312, Myst (Thank yous!  I changed the rating to R), ~**IceDaggerz**~ (Owie!), Broken Angel (Hes my fave 2! ^_^ Not that u can tell!), grinsandgigglez, female herro yuy, hopper, Rena (Yay!  This fic is sum1s fave!),and Samantha . . .Thanks all!  No group hug this time . . .aww if u insist! *Glomps all*         

*BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!*

            Duo's watch screeched as the three hours ran out.  He came out of the almost trance like state he sank into when working on Death Scythe and stretched his lithe body to relieve his tense muscles.  He cracked his knuckles and flashed a grin at the screen in front of him.  He rapidly typed in the log off codes, not needing to look at the keyboard, all pilots were touch type trained for maximum speed and efficiency.  He then clamboured out of the cockpit and use the winch to lower himself to the feet of the mecha giant.  As soon as his feet touched the ground he looked over to Wing, expecting to see Heero busily repairing the wounded machine.  Instead of this he was met with the exact same sight of three hours ago.  Worry crept back into Duo's mind once again. He tore his eyes away from the mangled Gundam to look at Nataku and Wufei, whose slender hands were still flying over the consoles keyboard.  

            "Hey Fei!  Chow time!" Duo hollered, determined that if he couldn't help Heero he would at least see that his other friend was well fed.  Black eyes snapped away from the screen to focus on the figure of Duo below.  His brow creased in a small frown at one of many nick-names Maxwell had seen fit to lumber him with, but neglected to make a comment knowing that it would only go in one ear and out the other.  Wufei nodded sharply at the American man and swiftly exited the cockpit. Once he hit the ground he cast his evaluating gaze over ZERO.

            "Where is Yuy?" He questioned casually, but Duo could see the concern in his eyes.  The five were acutely away of each other's particular quirks.  Wufei and his obsession with justice.  Quatre and his space heart.  Trowa and his fight to understand his past.  Duo and his cross and braid.  Heero and his fixation with the perfect working condition of his weapons.  "It is not safe for Yuy to leave his Gundam in such a state!"  Wufei exclaimed, masking his concern for Heero's out of character behaviour with anger.

            "Don't I know it!" Duo remarked, his voice light, his eyes dark.  "But ya know Heero, he's probably hacking into some OZ database or something equally thrilling on that damned laptop of his!"  Wufei's delicate eyebrows drew together at the undertone of trepidation in Maxwell's voice and the obviously forced grin that marred his features.  /Something's wrong with Yuy. /  Wufei thought, but didn't voice his guess, knowing his involvement wouldn't be welcomed.  The black haired boy was about to suggest that he should be the one to cook, he didn't feel up facing one of Duo's culinary monstrosities, when a faint whimper reached their ears.  Both pilots immediately switched into battle mode, adrenaline flooding their systems as they pulled pistols from hidden holsters and removing the safety.  Black met violet, as Wufei looked to Duo for orders.  Maybe it sounds strange to hear that last sentence, but Wufei was no fool and acknowledged the fact that Duo's skill in handling situations requiring stealth surpassed his own.  Using hand signals as communication they traced the strange, hoarse cries to Heero's room and stood outside the closed door.  Wufei slowly turned the door handle while Duo covered him with his gun.  The door was thrown open and the two war weary pilot who had seen the worst the world had to offer stood in shock.  

            Heero lay in his bed, writhing in the grip of a nightmare.  His skin was slick with sweat, his face creased in concentration or pain and terrible heart-wrenching whimpers escape his full lips.  Duo took a step forwards, holstering his gun as he did so, wanting nothing more than to comfort the vulnerable boy sleeping fitfully on the bed.

            /Don't, / Duo froze in his tracks as his last conversation with Heero entered his mind.  If he went in there now and comforted his friend Heero might misinterpret his actions and take hope again.  A hope that Duo would have to crush, again.  The Great Destroyer wasn't sure that he could do it a second time.  Duo turned around and left the room, as he marched down he hall he called over his shoulder.

            "Take care of him Wuffers!  I've got some more work to do on ol' Death Scythe!"  Wufei watched Duo's retreating figure with disbelief, how could he be so callous?!  At that very moment Heero's back arched off the bed and he screamed in agony.  The sound caused Wufei to jump and Duo to pause.  If was only for a split second but Wufei saw it and saw the tensed shoulders and hurried steps that he took afterwards.  The black haired boy realised that Heero's disturbing behaviour was linked with Duo.  Whatever had happened between them was causing them both pain.  Taking a deep breath Wufei entered the Perfect Soldiers room and closed the door behind him.

*          *          *

            "Pain is the only path to perfection 01, you must embrace it!" 

            Heero quivered as blow upon blow rained down on his young body.

            "Now lay still like a good boy 01 and I promise, this will only hurt a little!"

            Heero bit back a scream as the man above him thrust into him.

            "They aren't people 01, only targets to be destroyed.  Do what you have to!"

            Heero held a smoking gun in his small hand and surveyed the pile of bodies before him, the dropped the weapon to the floor as he started to tremble and received a beating as punishment.

            " . . take note, this experiment is being conducted without the use of anaesthetic.  01 you may feel a slight stinging sensation.

            Heero cried out as the scalpel bit into his skin.  

            His body thrashed as he tried to escape his imaginary bonds, Wufei called out to him in vain.  Biting his lip in a rare show of frustration and climbed onto the bed, grabbing Heero's flailing arms by the wrists and holding them to the bed.  Heero's prussian blue eyes flew open.  His sleep-clouded mind didn't see a friend trying to help him, only a man, pinning him to a bed.  His lower legs curled up on themselves, feet finding purchase on the mans chest.  Wufei had no time to be surprised as Heero's legs kicked out, causing him to release his grip and fly across the room.  He rolled and came to his feet with no damage caused.  He caught Heero's panicked gaze with his own.

            "You were having a nightmare." He said flatly, deciding that the best way to shock Heero back to himself was to give him what he did best, a mission.  He cast unreadable eyes over to the closed laptop.  "Pull yourself together!  I assume you have a mission report to write and Wing is damaged.  J will not be pleased if you neglect your mission requirements!"  Recognition flooded blue eyes and Heero bowed his head.

            "Wufei,"  his voice was hoarse from screaming.  "I apologise for my behaviour,"  

            "See that it doesn't happen again," Wufei ordered, slightly disturbed to see this weakness in perfection.  "Screaming like an onna in your sleep is not good enough for a mission, it could lead to discovery!"  That said the Solitary Dragon spun an his heel and left, snapping the door shut as he left.

            Heero sat on the bed hugging his knees as he tried and failed to banish his emotional turmoil from his mind.  / . . .Not good enough.  I'm not good enough.  Not good enough for the mission, not good enough for Duo, not good enough for anything . . . /


	5. Default Chapter

WARNINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero, Heero torture, hints of NCS (Non-consensual sex, rape), abuse of Wufei's name and foul language! *Gasps* Oo, shocking!

Thank yous – Oh wow! Look at all the reviews from the nice ppl!  Who am I talking to?  I don't know!  I'll just get on with it shall I?  Samantha, Rena, SilverShinigami, Angel of Fire, Grey Mitten, Silent Shimegami (Want a tissue?), moonbunny 317, D.D.04 (Ahhhh! I'm not evil! . . .much!), Princess of Destruction, Sakura Maxwell (Ur mail is in the post!), Cherry Blossom (Hang on . . .Cherry Blossom??  As in the Cherry Blossom?!?  Yay! *Gets a case of hero-worship*), Lydia Martin, Broken Angel, lonely, me and Katie (Thank u!  Someone who didn't yell at me 4 making Wu's attempt to help go badly!) . . .Thank you! *Glomps all for ages* . . .Please send me shiney and new reviews!  ^_^  They make me happy!

AN – This chapter is a lickle bit longer to make up 4 the wait.  I'm still not sure about the battle thingy, it just popped in my head!

Duo and Wufei sat in silence at the kitchen table as they ate.  A warning signal that Quatre had installed flashed red indicating that a mobile suit was incoming.  The two sat tensely for a moment before relaxing when it flashed to green, it appeared that Trowa and Quatre had returned from their mission.  Five minutes later Trowa walked into the kitchen, all elegance and grace.  His blonde shadow was nowhere in sight.  Wufei's brow creased in agitation when the millionaire did not appear.

            "Where is Winner?" he snapped.  Trowa looked at him blandly from behind his uni-bang.

            "Our mission did not go as expected.  Sandrock was badly damaged and Quatre was force to stop at a closer safe house."  His impassive green eyes did not hint at distress so the two felt no need to enquire on Quatre's safety, knowing the brunette would be less than calm if his lover were hurt.  

            "When will he be back?" Duo asked curiously.

            "The repairs will take approximately three days to complete," Trowa announced to the distress of the others.

            "We have a mission tomorrow!  All of us are required!  We can't go into that base without Winner!"  Wufei hissed furiously, still feeling shaken from his encounter with Heero he was not in a good mood.

            "I am aware of this fact, we will have to change our mission parameters.  I am going to discuss the change of events with Heero," Trowa raised a delicate eyebrow when he saw the looks that Duo and Wufei exchanged.

            "Sure thing Tro-man!  Let us know what's happenin' won't cha?" Duo chirped, his voice sounded strained, his humour forced, leaving Trowa wondering exactly what he had missed.  Nodding sharply Trowa turned on his heel and headed back in the direction he had come from.

*          *          *

            "ZERO," Heero murmured quietly as he logged onto his Gundams database.  He always found that it was easier to work from the inside out when it came to repairing his partner.  He also found that he could manipulate the codes of the machine with a greater speed and accuracy if he used the ZERO system.  During these sessions at least ZERO remained quiet, only trying to take over his mind during battle scenarios, which was a great relief to the Prussian eyed boy as he really didn't need anything else messing with his mind at the moment.  The familiar comfort of ZERO's golden embrace surrounded him and his fingers began to fly over they keyboard with an amazing speed and time lost all meaning.  

            "Heero," At the utterance of his name Heero jerked out of the system with a gasp and sat back in his chair of a moment to gather his thoughts.  For a second he felt at peaceful.  His emotions were like an untouched lake, still and unmoving.  "Heero!"  Then someone threw a rock in and his inner maelstrom began again with an even greater intensity than before.  He blinked back tears that suddenly appeared in his eyes.

            /Not good enough/ Absorbed in his thoughts Heero failed to notice Trowa climbing his Gundam and entering the cockpit.  Trowa called the Japanese boys name quietly, unwilling to make physical contact and risk bodily harm from the volatile pilot.  "Heero?"  This time he got a response.  Heero's head snapped around at the same instant he went for the gun at his waist, his hand was wrapped around the trigger before he realised who was standing before him.  

            "What?" Heero demanded harshly, in no mood to be civil.  Trowa inclined his head slightly, as would and inquisitive bird.  /Heero's voice is hoarse, Wufei and Duo are behaving strangely and usually there would have been no way *anybody* could sneak up on Heero like that. /  The European boy decided to dismiss their odd behaviour for the moment, they had more important things to think about.  Not wasting anytime beating about the proverbial bush Trowa quickly informed their current lack of a team member to Heero and the two retired to the study area to draw up a new battle plan.

            After one and a half hours of tactics, strategies and backup plans the two boys settled on a revised plan of attack.  Heero 'mailed a copy to the doctors whilst Trowa went to inform Duo and Wufei.  The only problem with their plan was the fact that if cut the time they had to leave in by half.  This meant that Heero would not be able to fix ZERO in time for the mission, if he worked alone.  The only others who knew the inside out of Wing were Howard's crew, whom Heero had actually let touch his precious Gundam without too many death threats.  They were only half an hour from Howard's sea base by jet and the crew could get the job done with time to spare.  Trowa was going to get Duo to call Howard, knowing the old man had a soft spot for the mischievous boy.  Ten minutes later the plan was explained, Duo placed the call, Heero made a brief appearance to tell them the scientists approved, all that was left to do was wait.

*          *          *

            "C'mon ya bastards, Shinigami's gonna take you all to hell!" Duo yelled joyfully, sorrows and guilt long forgotten in the heat of battle haze.  Behind the black metal explosions blasted from the high security military base, providing Deathscythe with a background suitable for the Great Destroyer.  This was his home away from home; here on the battlefield he was complete.  He manipulated the controls with a practised ease and his partner responded instantly, thermal scythe cutting in a graceful curve, slicing two mobile suits in half.  On his screen he could see the other G-pilots fighting their way through the swath of mobile suits that had surrounded them.  His heart contacted for a moment when he watched Wing, but a MS made a suicidal head on attack on Deathscythe causing Duo to lose himself in battle again.

            Heero was fighting two battles.  One on the battlefield.  He commanded Wing and it obeyed.  Thermal blade cutting through one, two, three, four suits. The second was inside with cockpit.  He commanded ZERO and it rebelled.  The golden glow filled the screen blinding him to the outside battle.  Images flew at him as the ZERO system found his weakness and exploited it.  ZERO had never been able to completely control Heero like it had the other pilots because Heero was perfect.  Not anymore.  

            Heero gasped in shock as ZERO invaded his mind.  Images of Odin Lowe, Dr. J, nameless guards, his victims . . .Duo . . .danced before his wide eyes.  All of them spitting vile insults at him, words that were meant to tear at his soul, and they did.  

            /Pain, so much pain! / A low moan of pain escaped his throat and his fingers left the controls to claw at his head in a vain attempt to relieve the assault.  /Stop it! / His moan slowly turned to a growl of helpless fury.  /Stop hurting me!  I won't let you hurt me anymore!!! /  Prussian blue eyes glazed over with a slightly golden glow and calloused hands returned to the controls of Wing's weapons.  ZERO brought up the beam cannon.

            "What the hell?!"  Wufei shouted in confusion as he saw Wing pause in the dying battle.  He quickly steered through the rapidly decreasing number of enemy suits towards Deathscythe and noticed, with approval, that Trowa was doing the same.  Wufei quickly opened a comm-link to Duo's and Trowa's suits.  "01's not moving!" He barked roughly.  The three allies Gundams stood together, as the few remaining survivors of the base headed for the hills, and watched Wing.  Violet, emerald and onyx eyes widened as the white suit began to move again and brought up the beam cannon and fixed its aim on the three of them.  Duo scrambled at the console and opened a direct link to Wing, allowing him both sound and a visual on the pilot.  

            /No! / Duo thought as he saw Heero's eyes.  He had seen the affects of the ZERO system and the chaos it caused on those too weak to handle it first hand and now it seemed Heero had lost control of it.

            "01, lower your weapon at once." Trowa's calm voice resonated over the 'waves.  For a second it didn't seem like Heero would respond and then a sound that chilled them to the bone echoed around the individual cockpits.  Laughter.  Maniacal laughter.  Heero's laughter.  It lasted for a few brief seconds that stretched into eternity and then died.

            "I won't let you hurt me anymore!"  Heero's voice held more passion than any of them had ever heard before.  Duo's amethyst eyes brimmed with unshed tears for the boy he loved.  He feared that the worst was true, that he *had* pushed Heero over the edge with his brutal rejection.

            "I won't let you." This time Heero's voice was cold and full of determination.  He locked onto his target in the viewfinder.  He gripped the trigger and squeezed.  A burst of golden light exploded from the beam cannon as Heero opened fire.

To be Continued . . .

Heh, that's a bit of a cliffhanger isn't it?  Who left that there?! *Walks off whistling innocently*


	6. Default Chapter

WARNINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero, Heero torture, hints of NCS (Non-consensual sex, rape), abuse of Wufei's name and foul language! *Gasps* Oo, shocking!

Thank Yous – Oo wow, I'm nearly at 50 reviews!  Happiness!  ^_^ Anyways on with the show!  Munchkin, Sakura Maxwell (Yay, this fic is someones fave! ^____^), Cherry Blossom (Yes I've got the right Cherry! Bleeding on the Inside, Making Heero Human and Three Small words r 3 of my fave fics!), Akiko-san, Solarbaby (Y do ppl keep calling me evil?  I don't understand!),  Sarasi, Venus-chan, Katie (Hehe the ZERO system equals mucho torture goodness!), Silvertoekee, Myst and zeni! *Huggles all muchly*  Thank you so much!  I love reviews . . .even more so than chocolate . . .and that's saying something!

            "MOVE!" Wufei screamed down the comm link even as wrenched the controls to get Nataku out of the path of the oncoming wave of death.  Trowa gritted his teeth as he steered Heavyarms out of harms reach, not appreciating the dire familiarity of this situation.  Duo flung Deathscythe to the right, his body working on autopilot as his mind scrambled for strategies to reach his comrade.  The beam tore past the three of them and collided with a mountain range half a mile away, sending up clouds of debris as it obliterated several mountains and rearranged the skyline forever.  Amethyst, emerald and onyx eyes all locked onto the still form of Wing standing in front of them.  Slowly the buster rifle lowered and the mecha fell forwards onto its knees.  The three re-established video feed only to find Heero sitting tensely in the pilots seat, head bowed.

            "Heero," Duo called softly, anxiousness lending colour to his voice and waited for him to look up.  The ZERO pilot was a formidable opponent at the best of times and Duo did not think they could come out on top when faced with the Perfect Soldier on a ZERO-bender*.  Slowly Heero raised his head to meet their gazes with his intense blue eyes, all hints of the system had disappeared.  The three suppressed their sighs of relief.

            "Mission accomplished," His monotonous voice reached their ears.  Duo winced at how lifeless the Japanese boys voice was when compared with the last time the two had talked.  Wing climbed back to its feet as Heero regained his composure.  It shifted into bird mode and took off before the others could say a word.  Silently the three Gundams followed, each of the pilots on edge, knowing in their hearts that soon everything was going to change.

*          *          *

            Wing touched down moments before the others and the four pilots opened their hatches to a very welcome sight.  Quatre Rabera Winner stood at the feet of a very bettered Sandrock, yelling orders to a mixture of Howard's mechanics and members of the Maguanac Corps.  The second Trowa's feet touched the ground the blonde spun around, abandoning his task and raced over to his lover, cornflower blue eyes sparkling.  Duo and Wufei hit the ground simultaneously and they rolled their eyes at each other as the lovers took full advantage of this touching moment to reaffirm their love.  Heero did not immediately join the others on the ground, instead he wrenched open a panel inside the cockpit of Wing in order to reach and remove the ZERO system.

            "Ahem!" Duo coughed politely in an attempt to put an end to Quatre and Trowa's heart-warming reunion.  Reluctantly they broke apart and Quatre flashed a shy smile at Duo, his cheeks stained a kawaii pink.  

            "How was your mission?" The Arabian asked curiously.  Quatre's smile was wiped away and turned into a frown as he felt the moods of the pilots in front of him darken.  Duo shot his a look to say, "Ask later" and the violinist raised his mental barriers to block the uncomfortable readings he was getting.

            Heero's hand trembled slightly as he pulled the ZERO cartridge from Wing.  His mind was quick to imagine what lovely punishment Dr. J would come up with when he discovered Heero's latest failing.  He desperately tried to shove the thoughts away.  Heero pocketed the cartridge, determined not to use ZERO again until he figured out what the hell happened.  He gripped the winch tightly and began to lower himself to the hangar floor, not trusting his body at the moment enough to make the precarious jump.  

            Quatre's frown deepened and he pressed his hands to his chest as pure, unadulterated anguish washed over him in one big black wave.  His eyes scanned the hangar, desperately trying to find the source and landed on Heero, who had just lowered himself out of Wing.  The spandex clad boy began to walk towards them and Quatre nearly screamed as the pain doubled with each step he took.  Trowa rushed to his angel's side, cradling him as his knees gave out.  The uni-banged boy noticed that Quatre's gaze was still locked on Heero and was about to say something to the prussian eyed pilot, when he felt his lover's body go limp in his arms.

            "What did you do to him?" Trowa demanded, looking from his love to Heero.  The Japanese boy froze in his tracks and a look of confusion flitted across his features.

            "Ano . . .I didn't do anything," Heero replied calmly, Trowa however was not placated.  He handed over his unconscious koi to the concerned hands of one of the Maguanacs.  Trowa ten stalked, with the grace of a cat, over to the shorter boy and stood toe to toe with him.  

            "Like hell you did!  Look at him!" Here Trowa gestured angrily towards Quatre.  "Something you're feeling did this!" Trowa had seen enough of the rare moments when Quatre lost control to know that this was caused by his space heart.  He glared down at Heero, his one visible eye burning with molten fury, the protectiveness he felt for his Little One rising to take centre stage.  Prussian blue eyes began to smoulder with anger, taking Trowa by surprise.  Heero hardly ever showed his emotions and the near miss on the battlefield still had Trowa on edge.  The Japanese boy felt rage rising within him before being quelled by the truth in his fellow pilot's words.  Heero had never thought that the emotional turmoil he had been living with the past few days would hurt Quatre through his space heart, he had been to wrapped up in self-pity.  Shame, guilt and selfishness swept through his system.

            "I'm sorry," He murmured quietly before turning on his heel and fleeing the hangar.  Trowa watched him leave, eyebrows raised delicately in surprise.  A feeling of guilt flashed in his mind but the European quickly brushed it aside to tend to the more immediate problem of reviving his lover.

            Duo watched as Heero escaped the tension wrought hangar with a heavy feeling in his stomach.  With every heart wrenching moment that passed Duo regretted his decision even more.  Every fibre in his being ached to comfort his . . .what?  What were they to each other now?  Comrades?  Yes.  Friends?  He didn't know anymore.  It seemed that by rejecting Heero's love for him Duo had also thrown away their friendship.  Had this scene occurred a week ago Duo would have given chase to the intense youth and reassured him.  Now he was unable to do this for fear of giving Heero false hope.  The heaviness grew and Duo Maxwell found himself without a clue of what to do or say to make things right again.

To be Continued . . . 

* - Teehee!  Cherry Blossom mentioned this in a review and it made me giggle so I put it in! 

A/N – Next time on Harmless Heart the G-boys grill Heero for answers on the whole ZERO fiasco and we have an appearance of the man we all love to hate, the infamous, the ugly, Dr. J!  *Chants* Heero angst, Heero angst, Heero angst!


	7. Default Chapter

WARNINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero, Heero torture, hints of NCS (Non-consensual sex, rape), abuse of Wufei's name, foul language (*Gasps* Oo, shocking!) and bastardised Dr. J . . . .the fun . . .

Thank yous – zeni, Just me, Grey Mitten (tee hee, I didn't mean literally! ^_^ I nearly wrote a 3x4 lemon in here but I chickened out *sighs*), Cherry Blossom, Broken Angel, TigerBabe, Sarasi (Yay an obsessed person! ^___^ I always get obsessed with fics but this is the 1st time sum1s been obsessed with mine!), Myst, Sakura Maxwell (I will don't worry!), Katie (Ok, if that peeved u off ur really going to be mad after this chapter! ^_^;;), Thank you all! *Hugs* Reviews are the single best thing to get me to write faster!

A/N – Happy all?  I updated quicker this time *and* you get a longer chapter! 

//Marlene watches from the wall 

And her mocking smile says it all

As she records the rise and fall

Of every soldier passing

But the only soldier now is me

I'm fighting things I cannot see

I think it's called my destiny

That I am changing. . .//

Marlene on the wall – Suzanne Vega.

A loud crash echoed around the confines of Heero's room as the afore mention pilot lost his temper and threw his fist through his wardrobe door.  The thick, expensive wood splintered with the force and shards clawed their way under Heero's golden skin.  A low growl escaped his throat as withdrew his wounded hand, furious at himself for endangering the lives of his three comrades and emotionally attacking another.

            /I need my walls back!  I need control! / He thought angrily.  He reached into his pocket and pulled out the ZERO cartridge, glaring at it as if he could make it disappear with will alone.  /Not good enough. / His gaze faltered and he dropped the system to the floor as an image from his ZERO induced madness flashed in his mind.  His hands flew to his head and gripped messy brown hair, causing the blood from his right hand to drip down his face in macabre tears.  His hands tightened as he desperately tries to contain the pain.  Eventually managing to block it out Heero released his grip and entered his en suite bathroom to wash away the blood and bandage his hand.  When he had completed his task he re-entered his bedroom and sat down at his desk, booting up his laptop.  He entered the necessary codes and then accessed several programs before pausing, his fingers resting lightly on the keys.  How in the name of Shinigami was he going to inform Dr. J of his last mission, without it resulting in him being retrained?  In his current state of mind this was not an option and if it were to happen knew that he would not survive . . .

*          *            *

            Trowa gently lay his blonde haired angel on the large king-sized bed they shared.  He quickly dismissed the few Maguanacs' who had escorted them to the room.  With a lithe grace he hopped onto the bed and stretched out next to his unconscious koi.

            "Quatre," he called gently, at the same time moving a delicate hand through his lover's silky blonde locks.  Slowly baby blue eyes blinked open and focused on his love.  A small smile pulled at Quatre's lips as he propped himself up on his elbows and caught Trowa's lips in a short but intense kiss.  The European man pulled back slightly and gazed at his love, his devotion shining clearly in emerald eyes.  "Feeling better now?" He asked quietly.  The smile vanished from the Arabians face much to Trowa's disappointment.

            "I'm fine," Quatre stated, although his voice hinted to the contrary.  "I'm just worried about Heero, I have never felt that much pain!"

            "I'm going to get Wufei and Duo and we are going to find out what is going on," Trowa told his heart reassuringly.

            "I'm coming with you!" Quatre protested but was silenced by a pair of warm lips colliding with his own and a gentle tongue seeking entrance to his mouth.  The blonde opened his mouth and teased Trowa's tongue with his own.  When the brunette felt Quatre was fully pacified he reluctantly pulled away and leant down to whisper in his ear.

            "I don't think so kobito, not after last time.  I will take care of things, just trust me." He murmured quietly.

            "I do," Quatre affirmed before reinstating their connection, whilst trying to remove Trowa's clothing in the quickest possible fashion.  The latter placed tender butterfly kisses along the Arabian's collar bone, enjoying the purrs of satisfaction escaping his responsive lover.

            "Are you sure you're up to this?" Trowa asked, always concerned.  His only answer was a loving smile and a very passionate kiss.

*          *            *

            "Alright Maxwell!" Wufei said angrily as he sat down on the sofa next to Duo.  "What is going on with Yuy?"  Duo's violet eyes shot up to meet with black, surprise at the Chinese boys question was quickly replaced with wide-eyed innocence.  

            "What do you mean?" Duo said a quick prayer of thanks to Shinigami, as his voice remained steady.  Wufei's eyes shot up and he glared at the American incredulously.

            "What do I mean?! Hm, let me think!" Anger smouldered in his eyes and sarcasm flavoured his voice.  "Yuy leaves Wing in a state of disrepair, he *screams* in his sleep and then he goes PSYCHO and tries to KILL us all AND he when gets close to Winner the boy just faints like an ONNA!  Take your pick!" Wufei breathed deeply, feeling slightly better for his rant, and watched Duo closely for any facial expressions that would give him an insight.

            "Oh, you mean that!" Duo laughed nervously.  /What am I going to say to him?  Oh Heero confessed that he loved me so I basically took his heart and ground it into a bloody pulp and now I think he's slowly losing it!?/  "I don't want to talk about it," Wufei threw his hands up in the air in a gesture of frustration and was just about to launch into another rant when Trowa walked in, looking slightly flushed.  Duo shot him a knowing grin, which Trowa proceeded to ignore.

            "We need to talk to Heero." Trowa remarked casually, never one to beat around the bush.  Wufei nodded in agreement.

            "No!" Duo blurted out before he could stop himself.  The others turned quizzical eyes to the Deathscythe pilot.  "Um, I mean that, um, I need to run a diagnostic on Deathscythe, yeah that's it, so I'll catch you later . . .Have fun!" Duo jumped up and raced out of the room, braid trailing behind him.  It wasn't a lie, Duo mentally excused himself, he did need to run a diagnostic; he needed to do anything but see Heero.  He could not cope with seeing those dead blue eyes and *knowing* that he was the one who put that look there.   

*          *            *

            Wufei knocked sharply on Heero's door, Trowa standing right behind him.  Almost immediately the door was opened by an impassive Heero Yuy.  

            "Yes?" he asked calmly.  Wufei and Trowa exchanged glances.

            "May we come in?" Wufei asked politely.

            "No." Heero returned, not wanting them to see the evidence of his anger, namely the remains of the wardrobe door.  He held his right hand behind his back to conceal the bandages.  The two pilots took his refusal gracefully, not really wanting to face the lion in its den anyway.  

            "We just wanted to know what happened on the battle field," Trowa stated plainly.  He pushed aside his craving to shake the shorter boy until he apologise to Quatre for causing him pain and settled for a level headed approach.  Heero looked at the two of them coolly, his Perfect Soldier mask settled firmly into place.

            "I became complacent and underestimated ZERO," he informed them.  "It will not happen again." With that he closed the door in their faces.  On his side of the door the Japanese youth let out a trembling breath, hoping that he had satisfied their curiosity, at least for a while, to give him a chance to fully recover.  Unfortunately for Heero the two pilots were far from happy with his explanation and decided to take matters into their own hands.

*          *            *

            Two days later five young pilots sat in the safe house living room watching an old movie in silence.  Awkwardness and tension filled the air until a knock broke into their thoughts.  Wufei and Trowa rose gracefully to their feet.

            "That will be our guest," Wufei remarked before switching off the television and the two then left together to answer the door.  Quatre and Duo exchanged a puzzled glance, while Heero refused to acknowledge anything.  

            "I didn't know we were having company," Quatre remarked absently, wondering how long it would take to clean out the guest room.  Duo shrugged non-committally, feeling in an unusually quiet mood.  The three perked with curiosity as the sound of footsteps on the wooden hallway floor filled the room.  There was the quiet step of Trowa's almost silent footfalls, the slight shuffle of Wufei's slippers but the last set of footsteps nearly drowned the other two out.  Step.  SCREECH.  Step.  SCREECH.  

            Duo's head whipped around to focus on Heero as the latter took a sharp intake of breath.  Heero's prussian blue eyes were fixed on the door, dilated with what could have been surprise or fear.  His entire body was held taught as if he were a finely tuned string, ready to snap.  Duo found himself holding his breath in anticipation as the door opened.  Wufei and Trowa stepped aside to reveal the figure of Dr. J.  The American's gaze went back to Heero and was surprised to see that blank neutrality covered his features, when only seconds before he held a look of terror.  Heero climbed to his feet and bowed his head slightly in a gesture of greeting and respect.  

            "Well, well, my boy," Dr. J crooned in his harsh voice.  "I've been hearing interesting things about you!"  A frown appeared on Quatre's smooth skin and he looked up to his lover in confusion.  

            "Trowa?  What's going on?" The multi-millionaire demanded.  Trowa had filled him in on Heero's ZERO episode but he had not told him anything about contacting Dr. J.  The blonde Arabian had his shield up full strength but it appeared that Heero was doing a good job of rebuilding his walls, never the less he felt a flash of fear from the Wing pilot when he saw Dr. J.  His lover dismissed his question with a shake of his head and Quatre shifted his attention to Heero.  The moss haired boy was shifting his gaze between Trowa and Wufei and the blonde felt another quickly stifled flash of emotion.  Betrayal.  

            "I think we need to continue this discussion in private," Dr. J told Heero, who nodded slightly and led the good doctor out of the room without a backward glance at his friends.  Duo watched him leave in shock.  /Shit!  I should have said something! /  The braided boy had discovered that lately he became rather tongue tied when around Heero, a phenomenon that he was not accustomed with.  

            Wufei and Trowa swallowed nervously when they were faced with two, very angry, comrades.  They knew the two would not be happy with their decision, but they were also sure that they had done what was best.

*          *            *

            Upstairs in Heero's room Dr. J glowered angrily at his protégée, as he discovered the ZERO cartridge lying unattended on the floor.  The metal claw flew in a fluid arch to collide with the side of Heero's face.  The boy stumbled but remained standing, knowing that his consequences would only become worse if he were to fall.  As the metal limb rose again Heero braced himself for the impact and forced himself to remain calm, knowing from experience that this was only the start of his punishment . . .

To be Continued . . . 

A/N – Umm, yeah . . .that was a bit angsty, ne?  Sorry Hee-chan!  And please everyone, don't kill me for making Wu and Tro call Dr. J!  They thought they were helping! -_-;;  


	8. Default Chapter

WARNINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero (Make that OOC everyone!), Heero torture, hints of NCS (Non-consensual sex, rape), abuse of Wufei's name, foul language (*Gasps* Oo, shocking!) and bastardised Dr. J . . . .the fun . . .

Thank yous – Tsuki Tenshi, nadiah, Joukai no Hahen (/Third/ time?! Thank youuuuu!), Sarasi (didn't make you wait too long, ne?), Seiko, moonbunny317, Katie (I thought about that but J knew he couldn't take Heero away without the others catching on, and he /knows/ Heero won't scream for help no matter what), SilverShinigami, Tanya, Zero's chick, angel of death, Myst (I couldn't kill Hee-chan!  . . .at least I don't /think/ I could. . .), Grey Mitten, KittyMeowMawell, Sakura Maxwell, Broken Angel, Cherry Blossom (Why thank u! *Grins*), Rena and Cobalt Princess!  *Wide eyes***** Thank you so much everyone!  Ya see what happens when I get lotsa reviews!  I get inspired! ^_^ *Glomps all of the above*

            Heero Yuy fell to the floor.  A gasp of pain escaped his bloody lips as a powerful steel tipped boot collided with the soft flesh of his stomach.   
            "Stand up." The voice was quiet but laced with an impatient fury that Heero knew too well.  Slowly Heero raised himself to his feet; prussian eyes stared fixedly on the floor.  He braced himself for the next blow.  The metal claw, that served as a replacement for the doctors arm, gripped the Japanese boys face tightly and forced it up, until blue eyes met their own reflection J's optical enhancers.  "You are lucky, my boy," The doctor mused aloud; a dark chuckle welled up in Heero's throat but was contained with practised ease.  "If we didn't need you here right now you would be back in my laboratory in a second!"  The pilot forced himself to remain passive and blank, even as his tormentors' words brought back old memories of the blood that had stained those white walls in the lab.  The claw relaxed its grip and pulled away.  New trickles of blood began to flow from the shallow cuts caused by the sharp tips of the makeshift hand.  Dr. J cast a calculating glance around the room, passing over the wounded wardrobe without comment and came to rest on a small black cartridge lying on the floor. "Pick it up," he demanded of Heero, his voice expressing the rage his eyes could not.  Knowing the price of hesitation Heero obeyed instantly, scooping up the cartridge and presented it to Dr. J.  The older man took it in his one good hand, observed it for a second and then turned his attention back to his protégée. "ZERO?" he asked in a quiet, seething voice.   
            "Yes sir," Heero relied, his voice a perfect monotone, belying the fear that shook him to the core.  A low growl of fury was all the warning Heero received before the claw, that was a sharp as a well-kept knife, began a curving slice that pierced the brown haired boys tank top and skin with ease.  Instinctively Heero clasped a protective hand over the six-inch gash that crossed his lower abdomen.  The cut was only shallow but blood poured forth without question, spilling over the pilots' hand and plummeting towards the floor.  J cast a derisive glance over the boy.   
            "Go and patch yourself up!" He commanded, jerking his head towards the bathroom, at the same time drawing a small tube out of his pocket. "And don't forget this!" He called to Heero as he handed the tube of foundation/concealer over to him. "Meet me in the hangar in thirty minutes." With that said the sadistic doctor pocketed ZERO, wiped the blood off his limb onto Heero's bedspread and exited the room.   
            Heero allowed himself a small sigh of relief as the door swung shut, before entering the en suite bathroom.  Pulling out a first aid kit he carefully cleaned his stomach wound and, after he decided stitches were unnecessary, proceeded to bind it tightly.  Swallowing nervously the Japanese youth then turned to face the mirror.  Several large, ugly bruises decorated one side of his face.  Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth and from several small perforations on his cheeks.  Heero washed his mouth out; grimacing when the water he spit out was tinged red.  Grabbing a washcloth he cleaned his face.  When this task was complete he took out the foundation and began to apply it to his discoloured skin.  Over the years Heero had become somewhat of an expert in the art of covering his wounds in this fashion and he did a job that could easily disgrace any professional make-up artist.  Re-entering his bedroom Heero undressed, threw his bloodied clothes to the floor, pulled on a clean tank top and spandex and sat down on the end of his bed, taking a moment to compose himself.  Heero made the most of this instant, reassuring himself that he had gotten off easy.  Eventually the battered boy pulled himself to his feet and left the violated sanctuary of his room to seek solace in the small gym and hopefully work loose his aching muscles.  

  
*          *          *

  
            "I don't believe you two!" Quatre's voice lifted angrily as he confronted his lover and his friend. "You had no right to contact J behind our backs!" Behind the blonde Duo was nodding furiously, violet eyes dark.   
            "Yuy was becoming dangerous," Wufei stated flatly. "We did what was right."   
            "No you didn't!" Duo countered passionately. "Dr. J should have been a last resort! The five of us should have confronted Heero first!" At this statement Wufei snorted in disbelief.   
            "We tried that remember? You wanted nothing to do with it!" Duo paused for a moment, his mouth hanging slightly open as he realised that Wufei had a point. Quatre shook his head slowly.   
            "You just didn't think," he stated quietly, shooting serious glances at the two in question. "You hurt Heero's feelings." He stated seriously.   
            "Heero once told me to follow my emotions," Trowa began with equal seriousness. "But I have never seen any evidence to indicate he has emotions of his own." Duo's shoulders jerked as that sentence reached his ears.   
            //"I didn't think the Perfect Soldier could feel emotion!"//   
Quatre stepped closer to his lover and looked up into his emerald eyes.   
            "Have you already forgotten what happened in the hangar, Trowa love?" he asked sadly, causing Trowa to incline his head in defeat as he remembered his fury at Heero's 'feelings'.  "He feels pain. And fear. And betrayal." He stated, glancing over to Wufei as he said this. Duo's frown increased with every word his blonde friend spoke. /I've been such a fool, / he realised. /How could I doubt him? /   
            Step.  SCREECH.  Step.  SCREECH.  Dr J's distinctive footsteps interrupted the heated discussion.  The old man entered the room and cast a small smile over its occupants before continuing on his way to the hangar.  After a few tense moments loud voices once again filled the room as tensions reached breaking point.  Duo sat silently as Wufei, Quatre and Trowa lost their tenuous grips on their tempers and began to scream at each other, or in Trowa's case, simply talked slightly louder.  Minutes passed and Wufei had stormed out, leaving the lovers to fight between themselves.  Moments later Quatre left yelling something about sleeping on the couch to his lover over his shoulder.  Trowa quickly followed him, protests and arguments silenced.  Duo was let alone.  A thought hit him.  Dr. J had passed by roughly ten minutes ago and Heero had still not made an appearance.

            The braided boy jumped to his feet as panic gripped him and quickly marched up to Heero's room.  An unreasonable sense of fear had wrapped itself around his core, urging him to find his partner.  Not bothering to knock Duo simply flung the door open and dashed inside, only to find himself frozen with shock.  Heero's room was a mess.  Duo had roomed with the Wing pilot too many times to count and he had never seen anything but pristine neatness from him.  Blood lay in patches the floor.  Furniture was smashed and also covered in blood.  There was a large smear of blood on Heero's bed.  Duo blinked.  /Oh Shinigami, no! /  There was blood on Heero's bed!  The Japanese boys clothes were on the floor, his tank top slashed and turned brown by blood.  His spandex shorts were also caked in the sticky red substance.   The American's quick mind surmised these facts quickly and Duo was slightly less than happy at the horrifying scenario it provided.  Without wasting another moment Duo spun on his heel and raced to the hangar . . .the promise of death burning in violet eyes . . . 

To be Continued . . .

A/N – Ok, I know this isn't as long as some of the other parts but it seemed like a good place to end.  I honestly can't decide whether or not I like this chapter . . .let me know what you think, please??


	9. Default Chapter

WARNINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero (Make that OOC everyone!), Heero torture, hints of NCS (Non-consensual sex, rape), abuse of Wufei's name, foul language (*Gasps* Oo, shocking!), bastardised Dr. J, violence (Hmm probably should have included that in the last chapter, ne?) and fluffiness (Don't worry, it doesn't last long! ^_^;;)

Thank yous – Princess of Destruction, Karasuko, Unholy Quintet (I'd break out the tissues!), Cherry Blossom (Here's ur reward 4 getting MHH out, now I want the next part please!  Or of TSM!  Or of BOTI!), Grey Mitten, Jania (This better?), CobaltPrincess, angel zeniko-chan, Broken Angel, Dreamer, Sarasi, sprite, sabre202, Katie (I can't write Jx1 *shivers* It squicks me!), sapphire, Steph, Shavica, Princess Lightina (x3, lol!) and steph (yes u are no. 100!) . . .thank you all!  Reviews are very much appriciated!  I'm so happy!  I got to 100 reviews!!! Woohoo!  *Smothers reviewers with hugs*

A/N – I'm sorry for the slight delay everyone but I struggled with this chapter.  I had to re-write it because I wasn't happy with one of the scenes.  Anyway it's here now so enjoy! 

Heero grimaced in pain as he quickly found that his idea of a workout was not at all sensible.  His stomach wound protested every time he made a move and his head throbbed dully.  Glancing at the clock mounted on the wall Heero decided to make his way to the hangar.  He could not help but hope that one of the other pilots were there, knowing that J wouldn't try anything in front of them.

*          *          *

            "Duo?  What's wrong?" The pilot in question heard Quatre's worried voice follow him down the stair but he ignored it, his mind clouded with his desire to rip apart a certain scientist.  The Arabian raised his eyebrows in surprise as he felt waves of violence flowing unchecked from his cheerful friend.  Without hesitation Quatre followed the braided boy and was closely trailed himself by his properly chastised lover.  This strange game of follow the leader continued and was joined by Wufei as curiosity over-ruled his contempt.  Eventually the troop of four reached the hangar, which contained the five machines that shook the world.  

            Dr. J reclined casually against the foot of Wing ZERO as if he hadn't a care in the world.  He looked up as the pilots marched in and met Duo's eyes.  Lightning flashed between them.  With a feral growl Duo launched his lithe body forward, the doctor made no attempt to evade the boys mean right hook, knowing it would be futile.  A very small portion of his anger relented and the American stood back while J lifted a tentative hand to touch his quickly bruising face.  Before J had a chance to fully recover Duo drew his gun and aimed it straight at his enemies heart.  Panic erupted.  Dr. J held up his hands in a gesture of peace as Trowa, Quatre and Wufei all called to Duo to drop his weapon.  

            "You fucking bastard!" Duo spat with language he usually reserved for the battlefield.  His three friends silenced their protests as his outburst and looked at Duo in confusion.

            "Maxwell!  I demand to know what is going on!" Wufei yelled angrily.  The Chinese boy's frown dissipated into a look of shock as a bitter smile slithered across his comrades face.

            "I'll tell you /exactly/ what's going on.  This /thing/," the American used his gun to gesture at the doctor as he struggled to grind the words out.  " . . .This monster /raped/ Heero."  The final sentence was said quietly; almost a whisper, but it caused pandemonium.  

            "I did /not/!"

            "Impossible!"

            "He couldn't . . .Heero wouldn't . . ."

            " . . . . !"

            "I saw his room!" Duo snarled angrily at J, blocking out the cries of disbelief from his friends.  "You will pay for what you did . . .No-one touches what belongs to the God of Death!"  The infuriated Deathscythe pilot cocked the hammer of his pistol and prepared to squeeze the trigger.  Before the braided boy had a chance to complete his self appointed mission he found his gun flying from his grasp and his body moving on auto pilot to avoid a sudden barrage of kicks and punches.  His attacker manuvered himself between the disarmed boy and the doctor.  Duo's mouth gaped open when he saw exactly who it was defending his enemy.  Heero.  The Japanese boy crouched in a defensive stance between the two men, intense eyes focused on Duo's torso, watching for telltale signs of movement.  "Why?" Duo whispered to Heero in confusion, reaching out to the messy haired boy.  Prussian blue eyes narrowed at the movement, it was all the encouragement the Perfect Soldier needed to launch an attack.  "Shit!" Duo swore as he duck to avoid his partners spinning roundhouse kick.  "A little help!" he yelled to the three wide-eyed Gundam pilots behind him.  Immediately the three leapt into action. Although the battle was four against one they were at a disadvantage as they aimed only to restrain, where as Heero was out for blood.  Duo's face creased with concentration and bewilderment.  Heero appeared to be physically fine, Duo would have believe that Dr. J hadn't touched the Wing pilot, if it wasn't for the destruction in his room.  A yelp of pain brought him out of his musings.  Wufei had thrown a punch at Hero, aiming to knock him out.  Unfortunately the Chinese man had forgotten Heero's off the chart response times.  Heero ducked under the blow easily and Wufei's fist met with Quatre's face as the blonde had tried for a back attack.  Trowa was proving the biggest challenge for the ZERO pilot, flipping and twisting just out of his grasp.  Seeing that Heero was preoccupied Duo crept up behind the intense boy, using the same stealth that had brought so many OZ officers to their deaths.  Dropping and twisting his body Duo executed a low spinning kick that caught his opponent totally of guard.  Heero hit the floor face first and was immediately pinned by Quatre and Wufei.  Trowa sank to his knees next to his comrade and, with a blank face, pressed down on the nerve point that sent the Japanese boy into unconsciousness.

            After waiting for a few tense seconds Wufei and Quatre withdrew the pressure they had applied and climbed to their feet.  Trowa and Duo also rose and the elderly doctor found himself under the heated gazes of four /very/ annoyed Gundam pilots. 

            "It's a reflex," the doctor's authoritative voice rang clear through the sudden silence that had settled.  He moved forwards until he was standing directly above Heero and, disregarding Duo's warning growl, crouched down and lay his good hand on Heero's shoulder.  "When I was installing 01's core conditioning I put in a few fail safes, just to make sure he never turned on me, or stood by and watched as someone did the job for him."  

"How can you talk about Heero like he's some kind of machine?" Quatre asked, feeling faintly sick at J's words and attitude.  Duo winced at Quatre's question.

            //You're just a killing machine, machines aren't capable of love!"// J's lips twisted in a small smile.

            "Because that's how I raised him," He said, and no one could reply to that.  Leaning closer to his unconscious protégée Dr. J whispered a command to counter the reflex in his ear, before pulling himself to his feet and flashing a smirk at the pilots.  "Well now, I believe it's time for me to be going!"  Duo stepped forward, violet eyes smouldering.  

"I am warning you now," he spoke, voice low and dangerous.  "If you come near Heero again you will face Shinigami's wrath, I don't care about the consequences."  J acknowledged the warning with a slight tilt of his head and then walked out of the hangar, somehow Duo knew this was not the last time J would be making an appearance.

*          *          *

Duo lay his burden down on his bed gently, not wanting to witness those blood-smeared sheets again.  The Japanese pilot was still unconscious and looked small and fragile on the black sheets of his bed.  Confusion filled Duo's mind, he had been so sure that J had harassed his Hee-chan, but here he was, seemingly fine, apart from being unconscious.  Duo reached out and caressed the others cheek, almost expecting him to flinch in his sleep.  He pulled his hand away and narrowed his eyes in confusion as he saw a golden smear that stood out on his pale fingers.  The braided boy left Heero's side to enter the bathroom.  He grabbed a damp washcloth and returned to his room.  He sat down next to Heero's prone form and slowly began to clean his face.  The American bit his lip anxiously as the normal golden colour of Heero's skin disappeared under his gentle ministrations and ugly blue and purple bruising was revealed.  

            A slight whimper of pain escaped Heero's lips as the Deathscythe pilot pressed down too hard on his abused skin.  The small hurt was enough to make Heero jerk into wakefulness and to trigger horrifying memories.  Prussian blue eyes widened and the Japanese boy sat up suddenly, clutching his stomach as his wound screamed at the sudden movement.  He froze as he recognised the foreign presence beside him to be Duo Maxwell.  Then the realisation struck him that he was in Duo's room.    For the first time since there life changing conversation intense prussian blue looked into concerned violet.  

            "Why am I in your room?"  Heero asked quietly, breaking eye contact.  Duo breathed deeply, suddenly acknowledging the close proximity between them.  

            "You went psycho on us again and Tro knocked you out," Duo said, his light-hearted tone sounded false and hollow even to his own ears.  "Your room was a mess so I thought you'd prefer to be here!"  At this last comment a deep frown crossed Heero's face.  

            "You thought wrong," Heero stated flatly, accepting the fact that Duo had seen his room and dismissing the issue until later.  He forced himself into a sitting position despite the discomfort he suffered.  Unfortunately, or fortunately depending which way you're looking at it, this move bought him even closer to the object of his desire.  Their gazes met again, electricity travelled them and an irresistible magnetism pulled their bodies closer to each other.  Both Duo and Heero found themselves breathing faster, their mouths so close they could almost taste each other.  The American tilted his face forwards slightly causing his lips to brush Heero's gently.  Duo's lips tingled at the sensation, instantly craving more.  The Wing pilot's eyes had slid shut and despite the damage to his face he was still one of the most beautiful creatures Duo had ever seen, besides those half open lips were just begging to be plundered.  The longhaired youth captured his partners' lips once more and began a slow gentle kiss that quickly turned hot and passionate.  Heero reciprocated fully, revelling in the warmth that stole through his body and banished his pain and fear.  Duo's hand reached up and tangled in the others short hair, gently pulling Heero's head back and deepening the kiss further.  Eventually both pilot's pulled back for air, resting their foreheads against each other.  A tiny smile flickered across Heero's face.

            "Ai shiteru, Duo," he whispered.  The reaction was instantaneous.  Duo froze, his grip on Heero's hair tightened, causing the latter to grimace slightly.  Action resumed and the American jerked away, stumbling back from the bed.  

            "I . . .I . . ." Duo stuttered, panic surging through his system.  Heero couldn't love him!  This was all wrong!  Without another word Duo turned and ran from the room, slamming the door shut behind him.  Heero sat on Duo's bed, his body battered and his heart bruised.  Bitter laughter escaped swollen lips while salt tears escaped empty eyes.

To be Continued . . .

A/N – Oh dear, I made another cliffhanger! Damnit!  Don't hurt me! ^_^;;


	10. Default Chapter

WARNINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero (Make that OOC everyone!), Heero torture, hints of NCS (Non-consensual sex, rape), abuse of Wufei's name, foul language (*Gasps* Oo, shocking!), bastardised Dr. J, violence (Hmm probably should have included that in the last chapter, ne?), and fluffiness (Don't worry, it doesn't last long! ^_^;;)

Thank yous – Deity21, Betrayed, shadowofthevampireangel (I really, really do!), sapphire, Cobalt Princess, Sakura Maxwell, Katie, Namari, sarasi, silvertoekee, jam, Yosomi (*hands over a tissue*), Shavica, Silvershinigami, Rayel, Adia, Grey Mitten (I'm not promising anything! ^_^), angel zeniko-chan, KittyMeowMaxwell, Unholy Quintet, me, Princess Lightina and Empress Yue (x3! ^_^ . . .if u kill me u'll never find out how it all ends!) . . .*crushes all reviewers with her huggles from hell* Thank you!

A/N- I'm soooooo sorry for the massive wait for this chapter!  I did, however, have good reason to put it on hold seen as all my coursework suddenly piled up on me!  Thank you 4 your patience and without further ado heres chapter ten!

            "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid," an endless litany of the word was murmured by a small, fragile looking boy who sat in the foetal position in the corner of his room. After the intimate moment between two young men had been destroyed by one of the participants the other had been trapped in shock and hysteria. Unable to stand his surroundings the remaining boy had hurried back to the small comfort offered by his own territory and locked himself in his room. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," the mantra changed as shame turned to sorrow. Tears still tumbled from perfect eyes, which stung and burned as the salt trickled on. His face screamed with pain as these salty crystals passed over and into shallow cuts in his skin caused by a brutal beating received only hours before. His frail body was thin, he had not eaten in days and he shook with a coldness that came from inside. He didn't know what to do. He had no idea what to do that could possibly relieve some of the pain that was destroying him. Actually, scratch that last comment. He did have one idea, one hope, one ray of light in the darkness. A light called Duo Maxwell. But that light had been extinguished. Hope crushed. Salvation given and then withdrawn. "It hurts!" He did not know why he uttered the words aloud, only that something had to get out or he was going to explode. Or maybe he would cave in, collapse, as if nothing existed inside him; for nothing did, except the pain.   
            Heero slowly looked around through bleary eyes. Any solace he had taken from being in his own room was destroyed as he took in the blood and destruction left in Dr. J's wake. Heero was tired. It was not a warm sleepiness that held him in its' sway; it was a great a terrible bone-weary exhaustion. However he dared not succumb to sleep, knowing what monsters were waiting for him within his mind. A powerful feeling of claustrophobia washed over him causing Heero to bolt from his room and run blindly from the house. Once outside the Japanese boy didn't slow and instead simply followed his feet, covering a vast amount of ground in a relatively small amount of time. Eventually the beginnings of a cramp in his side caused him to slow to a halt.   
            "Hey /bitch/, get back here!" An angry male voice ordered harshly. Heero's prussian eyes narrowed as a scantily clad woman ran past him, five burly looking males were advancing menacingly. His internal anguish was pushed to the side as curiosity overwhelmed him. Heero had made his was into a heavily urbanised area, on either side of the street large warehouses rose from the ground. The sun hung low in the sky, enabling the dark shadows to creep out into the streets. Unfortunately for our Heero his panicked run had led him straight into a narrow cul de sac; a dead end. The woman skidded to a halt as she realised her mistake and froze in fear as the men blocked the entrance to the alley. Moving with a grace that had been present for most of his life Heero manoeuvred his lithe form between the woman and her pursuers. The men halted. They were dressed in tattered jeans and equally worn t-shirts, ancient leather jacket warded off the wind and a variety of guns were strapped firmly into various holsters on their persons.  One guy had a small black pistol out and ready, clutched in his right hand.  
           "Hey kid!" the guy who was packing heat, Heero presumed he was the leader, called. "Get outta here! Our business don't involve ya!"   
            "I'm staying right here," Heero, announced coolly, one hand reaching behind him to get to the holster nestled at the small of his back. The men laughed at the cocky youth in front of them, sure that the five of them would have no problem handling the little boy. 

            "Fair enough kid, but I warn ya, we ain't gonna go easy on ya!" The Japanese boy inclined his head slightly, acknowledging the statement. Heero's hand reached his holster and nearly cried aloud in dismay as he found it empty. With a grim smirk the leader withdrew his own gun and trained it expertly on the girl who cowered at the end of the alleyway. "Stay still and she won't get hurt." He ordered, sensing correctly that the boy before him would want to spare an innocent pain. He watched in satisfaction as the boy slowly raised his hands above his head and gestured to his men. The four strode forward eagerly, bringing up their rudimentary weapons. Heero Yuy braced himself as the first of the blows rained down on him.   
  
                                                 *         *         *   
  
            "Stupid!" Duo cursed himself as he paced the living room causing the only other occupant, Trowa, to raise his head from a book in curiosity.   
            "What?" The uni-banged one questioned. Duo turned to him in surprise, he didn't realise he had spoken out loud.   
            "Not you . . .I'm stupid." The American admitted with a deep sigh as he threw himself down on the sofa next to Trowa. He ran a nervous hand through his bangs and offered his quiet friend a small smile.   
            "Talk." Trowa ordered, causing Duo's eyes to widen. Serious emerald eyes regarded him coolly, silently encouraging him to share his burden. Duo suddenly felt spilt in two. Half of him told him to stay silent, that by revealing the events of the last few days he was betraying Heero's confidence. The other half argued that he had to tell /someone/ what had happened between them or guilt would eat him whole. In the end it was the latter side that won out and words flowed from Duo's mouth before he even made a conscious decision. Trowa listened silently, allowing Duo to tell all before passing comment. The braided boy reminded Trowa of his past; Solo, Helen, Maxwell; he told him about Heero's confession, his reaction and how he worried for the Wing pilot's well being. Out of breath Duo eventually finished his tale and waited nervously for his quiet friends reaction. The uni-banged boy opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the slamming of the front door. Duo flew to the window and saw the shadow of Heero's fleeing form. He turned back to Trowa and gave him a weak smile.   
            "Now I'm glad I took his gun!" He spoke softly.   
            "Why?" Trowa asked succinctly.   
            "At least I don't have to worry about him hurting himself!" the American replied jovially, worry knawing at his insides.

*          *          *

            The fight was brutal and one sided as the Japanese youth remained passive in the face of violence.  The leader of the gang approached the melee, his footsteps muffled by the sick sound of blows being hammered down onto fragile flesh.  He raised his gun above his head and bought the butt of it down quickly on the back of the kids head, in a blow meant to put him down and keep him there.  The boy fell to the ground, face first and lay still.  The men dismissed the prone and bloody figure form their minds before turning and advancing on the girl who cowered at the end of the alley, fear radiating from baby blue eyes.

            There was one factor that this gang had not taken into consideration.  The blow that the leader had struck Heero with was enough to knock out of even kill an ordinary man.  All that it had done to the now slightly less than Perfect Soldier was stun him for a brief moment.  The soldier silently climbed to his feet and gave chase to the gang with a stealth born out of years of intensive training.  He came up behind the man who was closest to him.  In a fluid moment Heero snapped the mans neck with one hand while drawing his victims gun with another.  Before the others could react to the sickening crack Heero fired a bullet into the body of each member of the gang with deadly accuracy.  As the bodies crumpled to the floor Heero dropped the gun and sank to his knees, clutching a hand to his re-opened wound.  He stared at the ground breathing heavily for a moment.  The sound of a safety being clicked off a gun bought his head up.  

            The woman he had fought for now had a gun aimed at   his jugular.  The innocence in her eyes had disappeared beneath an impenetrable shield of cynicism and bitterness that echoed of Duo so much it shook him.

            "Thanks for the help, boy," her voice dripped with sarcasm.  "But I can take care of myself, as ya can see!"  Thick lashes shuttered prussian blue eyes as Heero's eyes drifted shut.  "Here's your first an' last lesson, kid, never stick ya neck out fer anyone!"

            She squeezed the trigger.

To be Continued . . .

A/N – Don't kill me!  Chapter 11 is already in the works so I swear you won't have to wait long for the next part . . .of course reviews are proven to help the creative process . . .^_~


	11. Default Chapter

WARNINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero (Make that OOC everyone!), Heero torture, hints of NCS (Non-consensual sex, rape), abuse of Wufei's name, foul language (*Gasps* Oo, shocking!), bastardised Dr. J, violence (Hmm probably should have included that in the last chapter, ne?), fluffiness and darkness (But I guess that's been there all along!)

Thank yous – Sarasi (Hey!  Mind the language! :-p), Shavica, Yume, moonbunny317, WildfireFriendship, silvertoekee, Betrayed, leah, Yosomi (*Shakes head* not homework, its coursework, as in if I don't get it done I get kicked off the course…), Princess Lightina and Becca . . .thank you! *hugs and kisses all round*

          "Thanks for the help, boy," her voice dripped with sarcasm. "But I can take care of myself, as ya can see!" Thick lashes shuttered prussian blue eyes as Heero's eyes drifted shut. "Here's your first an' last lesson, kid, never stick ya neck out fer anyone!"  
          

          She squeezed the trigger.  
  


          Heero's eyes shot wide open as a small click met his ears. He knew all too well what that sound meant. The gun was empty. He raised tired blue eyes to the face of his attacker who was smiling sardonically at the metal in her hands.  
          "I guess ya got lucky!" she remarked as she threw the useless weapon to the floor and sauntered away, hips swaying back and forth as she stepped daintily over the corpses that littered the alley. A small moan was forced from Heero's mouth as another wave of pain shook him. Quickly he took a mental inventory of his wounds and was not pleased with the results. He determined that if he did not receive medical attention in three hours at the most his condition was likely to become critical. He was also aware that even if he could make it to a hospital there was no way he could allow himself to be admitted. Oz knew what he looked like and he would be damned if he was captured, in his current state of mind he may very well break under Oz's very own special brand of torment. Wincing as the torn muscle in his left arm protested, Heero reached around and pulled an emergency homing device out from a small pouch he had installed on his holster. The device was designed to be used in emergency situations only and sent a mayday signal to any communicators with the same codes. The only people who had the devices in their possessions were Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, Sally Po, Hilde Schtibekker and Relena Peacecraft. The device beeped and Heero looked down at it with bleary eyes in relief. Sally Po was in the area and currently tracking his location. ETA 52 minutes.

*        *        *

          "Heero? It's Sally! Hello? Is anyone down here?" Sally Po walked down the alley cautiously, gun drawn and ready. A faint rustling drew her attention and she made her way over to the dumpster it came from as silently as she could. The doctor peered carefully around the edge of the dumpster and gasped in surprise. Heero Yuy was lying on the floor in puddles of dark red liquid, glaring up at her through blood-matted bangs. Any exposed skin was corrupted with hideous bruises and his clothes were torn and soiled. She holstered her weapon immediately and rushed to the wounded boys side. When she had received his request for medical assistance she had not been expecting him to be so roughed up. Hooking her arms under his arms she helped him to his feet, noticing with admiration that he had torn strips from his tank top to bandage his wounds. Knowing that the answers to any questions she had would be granted later, she set about the task of assisting him to her car.  
          Heero hissed in pain as he lay down on the backseat of Sally's non-descript car, wincing as she took off at a speed that was definantly not legal. A wracking cough shook Heero's light frame and he bought his hand to his mouth. Feeling wetness on his skin Heero looked down at his hand and saw that his golden skin was splattered with blood. He quickly came to the conclusion that this situation was not good.

*        *        *

          "You know your wrong, don't you?" Trowa asked Duo quietly. Violet eyes snapped to his angrily.  
          "What?" Duo demanded.  
          "What you did to Heero was wrong," Trowa clarified. "I understand why you were scared," he held up a hand for silence when the braided boy opened his mouth to protest. "But you should have explained it to him, instead of rejecting him." Duo wanted to protest but quelled the urge when Trowa's cold logic sank in. He had hurt Heero unnecessarily and all of the events which had followed were solely his fault. The American lowered his head until his fringe shaded his eyes.  
          "What should I do?" he asked quietly. Trowa watched his comrade passively and shrugged his slim shoulders. 

"A wise man once told me to follow my heart," Trowa revealed sardonically.  "I think its time I passed on his advice."  With that parting statement Trowa stood and left Duo to his thoughts, the irony of his last statement not lost on him.  Duo sighed and walked over to the window. He looked down the path that Heero had taken, searching his mind for a solution to his problem. One answer stood out above all, when Heero returned he was going to have a very long talk with him, starting with an apology. The European boy rose to his feet gracefully and left Duo to his thoughts. He climbed the stairs in search of his blonde koi and confidant, unsure as to wether it would be too presumtuas of his to share Duo's and Heero's situation with his lover.  Either way he would be glad for the warm comfort Quatre always offered him. 

Roughly two hours had passed since Heero had run from the safehouse.  Duo had abandoned the window seat for the sofa.  He lay sprawled out, eyes shut, thoughts and senarios running through his mind.  The harsh noise of the phone ringing statled him from his revierie.  He race across the room and swithched on the vid-phone with a breathless "Y'ello?", hoping that Heero was calling.

"Duo?" Dissapointment coursed through the Deathscythe pilot as a womans voice echoed through the room and the face of Sally Po was revealed on the screen.  Strands of hair were escaping the womans customary twists in whispy tufts and lines of anxiousness marred her forehead.

"What's up Doc?" Duo asked with a smile on his face, he rarely got to see the cool Dr. Po riled up.

"I can't talk for long, I've got work to do," she told him seriously.  "I just thought you would want to know that Heero is here, he – "

"What?!" Duo demanded, a strange mixture of worry and possesiveness creating his words.  Sally held up her hands in a placating gesture.  "Is he okay?"

"He has received multiple brusies and laserations, he had torn several ligaments in his left arm, he's also also fractured several bones and broken two of his ribs, one of which has pierced his left lung." The doctor recited clinically.

"How did this happen?" Duo gasped in shock.

"I don't know," she revealed.  "He is unconscious at the moment.  My team are taking care of him."

"Will he be okay?" A tightness gripped his chest as he asked that question.  /He'll be alright, he'll be okay, / he assured himself.

"Knowing Heero he'll be back to his old self within a week!"  Sally comforted.  "I have to go now, take care Duo."

"Yeah . . ." Duo mumbled as he disconnected, still shocked that Heero had been this badly damaged outside the battlefield.  He sat in silence for a moment.  A second later the subdued American burst into a flurry of movement.  Crossing the room with wide purposeful steps and snatching his black leather coat from its peg.  A few minutes later Trowa broke his kiss with Quatre as the muffled sound of a motorbike driving away reached his trained ears.  In the next instant their bedroom door was flung open by a very annoyed Chinese man.

"Maxwell took my bike!"

*        *        *

Heero stared at the wall with no trace of an expresion on his face.  The voices in his mind had quieted the moment.  The Perfect Soldier questionned the meaning of his life.  He had been taught over and over again that he had to defend the colonies until that became their purpose in life.  When the colonies had turned against the the blow had been harsh, but Heero's training had been so firmly in place that he simply continued to soldier on.  The tenuous bonds he had formed with his comrades had given his existence that small glimpse of light.  

What was left for him now?  Why should he continue to fight?  To live in agony?  The colonies didn't want his help, /she/ didn't want his help.  They hurt him for trying to ease their suffering.  Duo hated him.  He was a disgrace in the eyes of Wufei.  He hurt Quatre.  He hurt Trowa by doing so.

Heero lost all sense of time as he stared at the featureless wall, his mind spirialing further and further into darkness.  The roar of Wufei's motorbike registered in his mind on some level but he was to far gone to care.  Even when he felt strong hands shaking him and a familiar voice calling his name Heero could not draw himself up from the darkness.  He continued to stare at the wall.

To be Continued . . .

A/N – Oops, I didn't mean to make Hee-chan go all dark!  Honest!  Don't send out the death threats just yet, at least Duo came to his senses, ne? ^_^


	12. Default Chapter

WARNINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero (Make that OOC everyone!), Heero torture, hints of NCS (Non-consensual sex, rape), abuse of Wufei's name, foul language (*Gasps* Oo, shocking!), bastardised Dr. J, violence (Hmm probably should have included that in the last chapter, ne?), fluffiness and darkness (But I guess that's been there all along!)

Thank yous – O.P.'s girls (This quick enough?), jam, Karasuko, WildfireFriendship, nameless, moonbunny317, Betrayed (Don't blow up! ^_^ U'll make a mess!), Shavica, Sarasi (Teehee, all is forgiven . . .sorry!  I misunderstood! ^_^;;) . . .*Huggles everyone*  Thank you!!!

            "Heero?  Heero, can you hear me?" Duo's voice rose frantically as the Japanese boy stared blankly at the wall.  The Deathscythe pilot had taken Wufei's bike and headed straight for Sally's medical centre.  When he had arrived he had practically throttled some random intern until the poor kid told him exactly where Heero was.  Duo had then raced through the halls, blindly knocking aside any who got in his way until he reached Heero's door.  He dove inside and skidded to a halt, as the Wing pilot seemed totally unaware of his presence.  Sally's people had taken care of Heero as promised.  His frail frame was wrapped in white bandages and Duo grimaced to see how much weight his partner had lost.  His head was also swathed with the bandages, discoloured flesh shown where they did not cover.  His left arm was in a sling.  Duo stooped so that he could look Heero in the eye and was shocked to see that Heero looked straight through him.  Prussian blue eyes, which Duo had seen cold and determined, warmed with love, hurt and agonised, were now totally dead.  The American had thought that Heero's eyes were empty when he had first rejected him but now he realised he had only seen the tip of the iceberg.  There was no hint of the sharp, brutal and intelligent pilot behind those glassy eyes. 

            Desperately Duo called to Heero again and again, he grabbed the uninjured arm of his friend and shook him, still he gained no response.  Tears formed in violet eyes as he shook Heero harder and still there was nothing.  The Japanese boys head snapped backwards and forwards as Duo's sheer desperation grew.  After what seemed like a lifetime people surged into the room, pulling Duo away from the figure on the bed and restraining him.  Sally's calm faced hovered before his vision, she murmured calming words and lay a gentle hand on his shoulder.  Eventually Duo's semi-hysteria wound down, his breathing evened out and reason returned to his gaze.  Sally led him firmly out of the room, a backward glance showing him that the medical staff were now fussing over Heero.  He allowed the woman to steer him into a waiting room and sit him down on a large comfortable sofa.  She called to an intern to fetch Duo a warm drink and the two sat in silence for a moment.  Eventually Duo gathered his courage and murmured quietly, "What's wrong with him?"

*          *          *

            Trowa, Quatre and Wufei sat around the dining room table sipping on tea contemplating the situation as best they could.  

            "Heero's been gone for four hours now," Trowa stated almost casually.  Quatre turned cornflower blue eyes on him, knowing that his lover was worried.  The uni-banged boy had revealed the entire situation to the other boys after Wufei and Quatre had demand to know what was going on.  All three were concerned about Heero's mental well being, given the unusual characteristics he had been displaying over the last few days.  

            "Do you want me to see how he is?" Quatre asked quietly as surprised emerald and onyx eyes were turned to him.

            "I thought you had a limited range?" Wufei demanded.  The blonde looked up at him with sad blue eyes.  

            "I do, but I can extend it to find one person," The Arabian revealed.  Wufei and Trowa raised their eyebrows in surprise.  Trowa spoke.

            "Do it."

*          *          *

            Duo's violet eyes were wide and sick with disbelief as Sally told him all she knew.

            "He's been like this since I found him," she said quietly.  "His stats reveal that although he is conscious he is bordering on becoming catatonic.  I had the chance to monitor Heero once before and when comparing that data with what we have discovered the differences are drastic.  The only theory that we have at this time is that he is in a severe state of shock but none of the traditional remedies seem to be helping."  She paused for breath, watching with sympathy in her eyes as Duo ran his hand through his bangs and looked up at the ceiling with desolation in his eyes.  

            "There is a method which has been successful in cases such as this before, but it has rarely been successful," Sally warned seeing the hope in the young pilots eyes.  "It involves you talking to him, I mean properly, not shaking him, do you think you can do that?"  Duo nodded, swallowing thickly, he would do all he could to help.

*          *          *

            Quatre gripped the edge of the table and let his eyes drift shut.  Trowa and Wufei watched on anxiously, not sure what to expect.  The blonde breathed deeply, in and out in a steady rhythm, as he narrowed his world to focus on his heartbeat.  Slowly he reached for a prussian blue strand of light that was connected to his heart and followed it.  His soul raced across the miles that separated his body and Heero's.  A small warning signal flashed in his mind but he set it aside as he neared Heero.  Opening his astral eyes he gazed at Heero's still form, pushing away the fact that the strong blue thread had decayed to black.  Slowly stepping forward Quatre Winner entered the body of Heero Yuy.  This was the ultimate intimacy and violation, it revealed to the empath every emotion that passed through the Japanese boys heart.

            Empty, void, hollow, nothing . . .

            Quatre screamed.

*          *          *

            "Heero?" Duo peeked into Heero's room anxiously to find the boy lying back on his bed, eyes open and fixed on nothing.  He walked into the room and sat on the chair which had been placed at Heero's bedside.  He had never had a problem with talking, it was something he could do without thinking but now, when his friend's life was on the line, there were no words.  Reaching forward tentatively Duo brushed his hand over Heero's cheek, tears once more gathering in his eyes.  "I'm sorry," he said quietly, once those first words had fallen they flowed freely from his mouth.  He revealed everything to catatonic boy before him.  His past, his fears, his feelings.  "I love you."

            Heero's slim frame convulsed on the bed, his eyes rolling back into his head, thin limbs thrashing wildly.  Panicked Duo yelled frantically for help as he tried to restrain his comrade and found out that although Heero had lost weight he still packed a punch.  Cradling his injured face the braided boy stumbled backwards as Sally and her team of medics rushed in and tried to restrain the pilot.

            "He's having a seizure!" Sally called and proceeded to shout out orders to hold down and make sure Heero didn't swallow his tongue.  Eventually the seizure died down and the staff stepped away with relief.

*          *          *

            "Quatre!" Trowa yelled, if the situation hadn't been so serious Wufei would have been amazed at the amount of emotion held in the stotic boys' voice.  As it was the Chinese boy made himself busy putting into practise the medic skills which had been ingrained in his training.  The blonde convulsed in Trowa's arms, his blue eyes moving rapidly behind closed eyelids.  As the Arabian's skin took on a blue tinge Wufei snatched him from Trowa's arms and lay him on the floor.  

            "We have to clear his airways," The Nataku pilot explained as he forced Quatre's mouth open.  "Call Sally!" He ordered, knowing Trowa wouldn't hesitate when Quatre's life was on the line.  Using his entire body weight Wufei held the blonde down, ensuring he didn't harm himself.  Slowly the convulsions began to wind down but Wufei still applied his weight.  In the background he could hear Trowa's voice, calm but with an undercurrent of fear, as a breathless Sally Po answered the vid-phone.

            "Sally, we have a situation."

To be Continued . . .


	13. Default Chapter

WARNINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero (Make that OOC everyone!), Heero torture, hints of NCS (Non-consensual sex, rape), abuse of Wufei's name, foul language (*Gasps* Oo, shocking!), bastardised Dr. J, violence (Hmm probably should have included that in the last chapter, ne?), fluffiness, darkness (But I guess that's been there all along!) and paranormalness (Is that a word?)

Thank yous – WildfireFriendship, Casey, Katie (Thank you! Hope u had a good Spring Break!), Betrayed, Shuo Ri, Sarasi, Jam, just me, SilverShinigami, Hakumi (*blushes* hehe, I will correct that mistake, thanx for pointing it out!), Danica, mandy and Sylvia Black . . .*Glomps all*  Thank yo soooo much!  And please review again! ^_^

            The pilot lay unconscious on a freshly made bed, looking as infinitely fragile as a china doll against the pristine white sheets.  His short hair hung limply around his face, shifting as he sighed in his sleep.  Blue eyes blinked open, struggling to focus on the two bleary figures that hovered over him anxiously.  A pale hand was bought up to shield his eyes from the bright light shining directly into them.  Struggling, and succeeding only with the help of the figures, he sat up in his bed.  Full lips lifted in a slight smile when he saw his guardian's faces clearly and he attempted a greeting only to cough.  A glass of water was before him in a flash and he drank it down gratefully, the cool liquid soothing his burning throat.

            "Thank you," he rasped before clearing his throat again.  "Could I have another?" He asked with a smile.

*          *          *

            "I'll kill you!"  Blue eyes narrowed, glaring at the figures who had been restraining him only moments before.  He dropped into a fighting stance that was as natural to him as breathing.  A deceptively delicate hand reached for his pistol and with a grimace he discovered that it was missing.  Disorientated and confused he shifted his stance almost imperceptibly ready to attack at any moment.  He was confined in a room he had never seen before with two strangers who had attempted to hold him down to a bed.  His training echoed through the recesses of his mind.  /. . Enemies.  Destroy all enemies! / His conditioning demanded of him.  Intense blue eyes flitted between the two people before him, watching for any telltale movement that would indicate they were going to attack.  His eyes locked with the man on his right.  The almost familiar emerald tones soothed his agitated mind and cold blue eyes began to soften.  A small wave of anxiousness washed over him, its source seemed to be the boys in front of him.

            "Quatre," the emerald-eyed boy spoke softly, the name seemed to strike a chord within him.  In a rush he came back to himself.  Dropping out of the fighting stance the blonde boy pressed his hands to his suddenly throbbing forehead.  

            "Trowa?" he gasped, before collapsing in a dead faint.  The agile acrobat leaped forwards, catching his lover before the blonde head could hit the floor.

*          *          *

            "Much better, thank you," the blue-eyed boy said with a smile as he gave the glass back to his wide-eyed friend.  Duo shook his head and rubbed at his eyes wondering if he had finally gone insane.  Heero Yuy was sitting up in a medical bed thanking him and smiling without hint of bitterness or malice.  The same Heero Yuy who had been dead to the world only hours before and had suffered a seizure half an hour ago.  He glanced at Sally with wide violet eyes, finding no answers in the woman's confused gaze.  The phone on the wall buzzed insistently and Sally picked it up without ever taking her eyes off the cheerful ZERO pilot.  The field doctor barked minimal responses down the line and eventually hung up with a sigh.  She turned to Duo.  

            "He's woken up," she told him.  After receiving Trowa's call revealing that Quatre was also suffering a seizure she had ordered them to bring the Sandrock pilot down to the medical centre as soon as he was stable enough.  "Trowa and Wufei are watching him."

            "Trowa's here?" Heero asked eagerly, blue eyes lighting up.  Duo frowned as a pang of jealousy stabbed into his heart.  

            "Heero?  Are you feeling alright?" He asked timidly.  His eyes locked with Heero's and watched carefully as bright blue clouded with confusion.

            "Hee . . ." and then darkened with recognition.  Pain exploded within him as memories flooded back at a break neck pace.  He didn't want it.  He didn't want any of it.  His eyes started to flutter shut when a sharp slap startled him.  Duo was at his side, holding him, glaring at him with emotional violet eyes.

            "Stay with me," he commanded roughly.  Heero leant against the broad chest, which acted as his anchor in a sea of memories and hurt.  Neither of them noticed when Sally slipped from the room.  When Heero's memories had fully returned he once again hovered over the border of despair, the only thing, which was keeping him from the comfort of the void, was the strong hands running up and down his back.  Duo held Heero to him in an embrace of comfort, mindful of injuries the braided boy traced patterns on the others back as Sister Helen had once done for him.  He was still scared.  He still wanted to run and hide but Duo knew that it was time he faced his fears.  If he was going to lose Heero he preferred to love him and lose him to Shinigami than to leave Heero alone in his pain.  He lifted Heero's battered face so that he could make eye contact with him.  

            "I love you." Duo repeated his earlier words in a whisper.  Prussian blue eyes hardened and Heero pulled himself out of Duo's loose embrace, shuffling back until he could feel the solidarity of the wall against his back.  Hurt flashed across Duo's face and that apparent rejection.

            "Heero?" he questioned in confusion, after all that had happened Duo had imagined his confession to be welcomed by a smile and a gentle kiss.

            "Liar," Heero hissed, his voice hoarse.  "Don't mess with my head Maxwell, I can't take mind games right now!"  Although his first reaction was to be hurt by Heero's reaction Duo could hear the raw pain that was layered in Heero's voice.  Duo perched on the edge of Heero's bed, allowing his mask to drop he met the Japanese boys eyes with his own serious orbs. 

            "No games, no lies, I love you," Duo told him, projecting as much sincerity as he could into his voice, willing Heero to accept him.  The prussian eyed boy felt his resolve wavering. /Duo doesn't hate me. /  The thought fought against his memories of the American when he had made his own confession.  His uninjured hand came up to massage his aching temples.  

            "I need to think," Heero told him quietly.  Slightly discouraged Duo rose from his position and slowly walked towards the exit.  

            "Just stay awake okay?" The uninjured boy asked as he turned back.  Heero nodded slowly keeping his eyes focused on the sheets.  With a sigh the American turned and left the room, giving Heero his space while he went to check on Quatre.

            "I love you too," the boy on the bed whispered after the door closed, his hand brushing over lips, which had stolen a kiss only a day ago.

*          *          *

            Quatre opened his eyes and yawned sleepily.  Sitting up slowly he raised his eyebrows at Trowa and Wufei who were both standing by his bed, wary expressions on their faces. 

            "Winner?" Wufei demanded.  The blonde nodded and yawned again, the two sentries relaxed slightly, taking seats next to his bed.

            "Explain," Trowa ordered quietly.  Quatre sighed as his mind cleared although he could still feel a small part of Heero tucked in the back of his thoughts.  

            "I did not expect that," Quatre admitted, referring to Heero's emotional state, his unexpected convulsions and the fact that he had woken up as a different person all at once.  He could see Wufei frowning and prepared himself for a round of questioning.  All three pilots froze as the door opened and then relaxed as Duo Maxwell strolled in.

            "Hey guys!" The Deathscythe pilot smiled.  "I just wanted to see how you were doin' Q-man!"

            "Thank you," Quatre replied with a small smile and Duo's own grin dropped away as he recognised the phrasing, the mannerism the inflection and the smile which had all graced Heero's face only minutes ago.

            "What did you do?" Duo breathed quietly watching as Quatre grimaced.

            "Sit down Duo," the Arabian ordered softly.  Taking a deep breath Quatre started his account.  "We were worried about Heero when neither of you returned," the blonde began addressing Duo.  "So I did an experiment." Quatre studied the floor with interest as Trowa and Wufei looked at him accusingly.

            "You sounded like you'd done it before!  Why didn't you say something?" Wufei asked tightly.  Quatre shrugged in answer and continued.

            "It's a form of astral projection.  I was too far from Heero's physical form to read his emotions so I sent my spirit across the astral plane.  Once I reached Heero I couldn't just read him like I usually would, it doesn't work like that when I'm not in my body," Quatre simplified as much as he could to the other pilots but he could see that they didn't completely understand, no-one could unless they'd walked the planes themselves.  "I tried a merge but it didn't go as planned.  Heero's emotions . . .well, Heero was just . . .empty, I guess.  He's totally switched himself off and I panicked."  Here the blonde paused for a second, Trowa laid a supportive hand on his shoulder and Quatre flashed him a grateful smile.  "I think that's what triggered the seizures and it bought me out of the merger too quickly.  I took a part of Heero with me and by the look on your face Duo, I'm guessing a part of me stayed with Heero,"

            "I'll say," Duo confirmed, leaning back in his chair and whistling his understanding.  "So that's what all that was about!  I have to thank you Q-man, if it weren't for your little, erm, trip, Hee-chan wouldn't be awake now!"

            "Heero's awake?" Trowa asked, Duo nodded his head.

            "Why aren't you with him Maxwell?" Wufei questioned, an edge to his voice.

            "He wanted time to think." Duo told them.

            "To think about what, Duo?" The Sandrock pilot inquired gently.  A small sincere smile lit up Duo's face as he announced,

            "I love him."


	14. Default Chapter

WARNINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero (Make that OOC everyone!), Heero torture, hints of NCS (Non-consensual sex, rape), abuse of Wufei's name, foul language (*Gasps* Oo, shocking!), bastardised Dr. J, violence (Hmm probably should have included that in the last chapter, ne?), fluffiness, darkness (But I guess that's been there all along!), paranormalness (Is that a word?) and extreme mushiness (*gags* I can't believe I wrote something this sweet!  Beware of the angst of the next Harmless Heart! Mwahah-*coughs*)

Thank yous – Yosomi (don't worry, theres more angst to come! *cackles*), Sakura Usagi, WildfireFriendship, I am the nameless one, Dreamer, Soulsister, Artica, Lissa, mistress shinimegami (ur 'mail is in the post!  Anyone else want emails when new parts come out?), Sarasi, Kriss, Katie (Its not gonna give Q a glimpse into Heero's past, I don't feel that would fit the flo of the fic at the mo!), Betrayed, Sakura Maxwell (*giggles at image of Heero in a pink shirt*), Empress Yue, Sylvia Black, Princess Lightina, sapphire, Unholy Quintet (Brick of Doom?  Should I reall ask? ^_^), Venus-chan (Aw, thanks *blushes*), ColbaltPrincess (Um, I'm not sure about that!  //Insert evil grin here//), Princess of Destruction (I hope ur arms aren't acihng 2 much cus theres another cliff at the end! ^_^;;) . . .*Huggles all the lovely reviewers* I'm nearly at 200 reviews!!!!  I can't believe it!  As a thank u 2 all u /wonderful/ people I'm gonna write a one-shot fic and the 200th reviewer gets to chose genre and pairing . . .just please no 1xR I don't think I could do that to Hee-chan . . .Leave ur email addy or write ur request in the review!

A/N – I apologise profoundly for the disgraceful amount of time this chapter took me.  Writers block is a bitch as I'm sure all my fellow fic writers know!

ON WITH THE FIC!!!

Heero Yuy rocked back and forth on his chair slowly, the small movement being the only thing holding him to the physical world as his mind raced with thoughts and his heart pounded with conflicting emotions.  In the last few days Heero had undergone more emotional turmoil than he had ever experienced before.  He had fallen in love and admitted it, his Perfect Soldier mask had been shattered beyond repair, he had been heartbroken, hopeful, terrified, shamed, enraged and lost to a sea of darkness.  His life had suddenly changed from a cold singular purpose to a snarled tangle of love and despair, leaving him sprinting to catch up.  The cause of this infinite change: Duo Maxwell.

            Duo Maxwell.  Two words but the name fitted the person so well.  The duel personalities of the hyperactive, warm, over-emotional teenager and the cold, deadly, maniacal killer.  The Maxwell Church, Duo's home for a short while and the fuel to Shinigami's fiery hatred for Oz.  The lovable idiot who had made it his purpose in life to bury his way through the Perfect Soldiers icy shell.

            What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object?

            The question had been asked and Heero had discovered the answer.  There is no such thing as an immovable object when Duo Maxwell was the irresistible force.  The braided boy had succeeded where no one else would even dare to try and Heero knew he would be forever grateful.  Just like the question Duo was a paradox.  He claimed to love Heero.  His previous actions proved contradictory.

            // "How could I bring myself to love a thing like you?" //

            // A stolen kiss.  A confession of love.  A hasty exit.  "I . . .I . . ." //

            The dark memories threatened to overwhelm him and Heero's gentle rocking intensified.  A small voice cried out for him to give Duo a second chance and Heero froze, knowing instantly that this wasn't one of his usual retinue of inner demons.  A tune sprang into his mind and he began to hum under his breath.  The image of a petite blond with soulful blue eyes half shut in concentration as he played the violin appeared before him.  /Quatre? / He thought in confusion, but the voice was gone.  Taking slow breaths Heero sank into meditation feeling his consciousness expand.  Instead of the usual blankness he found Heero could feel the faint glow of alien emotions.  He could feel warmth, concern, love and darker undertones of anger and hatred.  Blue eyes shot open as Heero jerked from his meditative state at the shock of realising he now possessed Quatre's empathic abilities.  A dim memory of a foreign presence in his mind was all that he could connect to this unexpected discovery.  Heero hauled himself to his feet and walked as fast as he could manage out of his room to find Duo, as the full potential of this gift hit him.  With this gift all of his questions could be satisfied.

*          *          *

            Duo and Wufei stood hastily and excused themselves from the room, the tension levels becoming more then they would willingly stand.  Duo threw a concerned glance at the uni-banged boy, who was staring at the floors wooden panelling with an unreadable expression in his eyes, and a sympathetic one to the blond on the bed, before making his exit.

            "Trowa?" The Arabian man ventured quietly.  His lover had said all of three words in the explanation and conversation which had followed.  Quatre stretched out with his Space Heart tentatively and frowned when he couldn't pick up Trowa's emotions.  / I must have burned myself out. / He thought and dismissed it in favour of discovered what troubled his loved one the hard way.  "What's wrong?"  Silence.  For a long moment Quatre was certain he wasn't going to get an answer then emerald eyes rose from their view of the floor and pinned him to the bed.  Quatre didn't need his Space Heart to see the fear and the love in Trowa's eyes.  The pull between them was too strong and in an instant the acrobat was on the bed, holding the Arabian gentle and murmuring softly in his ear.  Quatre strained his ears to try and catch the whispered words but caught only a few; they were enough.

            "I love . . .so much . . .you scared me . . .never again . . ." The violinist leaned forwards to capture his loves lips in a kiss which was meant to reassure and comfort, but was interrupted by the slamming open of the door.  Heero Yuy stood poised in the doorway, swathed in bandages, prussian blue drawn to cornflower like a magnet.  Time paused as Quatre and Heero stared at each other entranced.  Trowa broke the spell by shifting on the bed and catching the Japanese boy's eyes with his own frustrated glare.

            "Where's Duo?" Heero demanded, his voice husky.  

            "He left" Quatre revealed.  "Should you really be up and . . .Heero?"

            The Japanese boy had already gone.  Blinking Quatre turned to his lover, a slow smile spreading across his face.  "Where were we?"

*          *          *

            Heero stalked through the safe house, throwing open random doors as he went.  One such door swung open to reveal Chang Wufei sitting at a desk, nose buried in a book.  Onyx eyes shot up from the page to focus on the intruder, peering at Heero inquisitively over his glasses.  

"Have you seen Duo?" Heero demanded before Wufei could even open his mouth.  The Chinese man shook his head implying the negative and the brunette spun on his heel, intent on continuing his search.

"Heero?" Wufei's powerful voice echoed after him.  "Could I have a word?"  Heero paused in surprise at hearing Wufei use his first name before turning around and re-entering the study.  The dark haired man gestured to a seat which Heero took reluctantly, every nerve in his body urging him to find the braided man.  Silence prevaded for a few moments as Wufei struggled with his pride and his words.  Eventually the Nataku pilot gave up spoke from the heart.

"I owe you an apology Heero," Wufei began seriously, cutting off Heero's attempted denial with a wave of his hand.  "I have made some bad choices and said some dishonourable things over the last week.  I am deeply sorry if you have taken offence to anything I have said and I hope that I have not shattered your trust in me completely."  Wufei looked up into Heero's eyes and the Japanese boy could feel the sincerity and regret coming from Wufei in waves.

"I trust you Chang Wufei," Heero stated sombrely, causing a small relieved smile to appear on the scholars face.

"Thank you, Yuy," Wufei smiled.  "Now get out!  I'm attempting to get some peace!" But the words were said with black humour and Heero made no effort to disguise the rueful smile that lit his face as he left the room.

*          *          *

"Duo," a husky voice startled the American from his thoughts.  Violet eyes rose slowly to focus on his love's face and a genuine smile graced Duo's features.  "Duo, do you love me?" Heero's voice was timid as he asked the ultimate question and stretched out empathically to pick up Duo's true answer.  He knew without a doubt that this would be one of the defining moments of his life.  With one word Duo Maxwell could save or destroy his life.  The Deathscythe pilot's answer was immediate and without hesitation.

"With all my heart," Tears sprang to prussian eyes as sincerity, love and devotion radiated from Duo like a beacon.  With a heartfelt cry Heero threw himself into Duo's open arms and broke down.  Violet eyes were wide with panic as for the first time he witnessed Heero Yuy in tears.  Sobs racked the smaller frame he held in his arms and Duo ran a tender hand through chocolate locks while murmuring sweet nothings.  A fierce protectiveness grew inside the one-time street rat as he swore to himself that he would never let anything or anyone hurt Heero again.

*          *          *

In Heero Yuy's bedroom a laptop beeped insistently.  Announcing in its own electronic way the arrival of a new mission.  News of a new fraction planning to join Oz had reached the ears of Dr. J who had decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to get his toy soldier back onto the battlefield where he belonged and away from G's demented little prodigy.  It went without saying that the mission was a solo one and it contained explicit orders that Heero /was/ to use the ZERO system no matter what the consequences.  Dr. J may not have issued these instructions had he been aware with the merger his creation had undergone with pilot 04.  He may have understood that an unstable Perfect Soldier combined with Quatre Rabera Winner and the ZERO system was Armageddon waiting to happen . . .

To be Continued . . .

A/N – This part was inspired by the beautiful Cello Conerto first movement by Elgar.  


	15. Default Chapter

WARNINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero (Make that OOC everyone!), Heero torture, hints of NCS (Non-consensual sex, rape), abuse of Wufei's name, foul language (*Gasps* Oo, shocking!), bastardised Dr. J, violence, fluffiness, darkness, paranormalness (Is that a word?), extreme mushiness and a lickle bit of Quatre torture for a little added spice!

Thank yous – Princess of Destruction (I really think u should! There are not 1, but 2 cliffs in this part!), Myst (U'll soon find out if its 4 the best or not! *cackles*), Relwarc, sprite, CobaltPrincess (So many qu's! I think this part answers 2 of 'em!), Tuski Tenshi and Katie (#It's the end of the world as we know it!#) . . .Huggles and kisses to all reviewers!  Please send me more!

A/N – Well, my muse certainly has a firm grip on this fic at the minute!  A bit faster than my last post, ne?  My offer of a gift fic to the 200th reviewer still stands btw!  It has come to my attention that many glorious readers have come under the impression that everything is going to be peachy-keen for our Heero now . . .prepare to be disillusioned . . .

            Heero Yuy strapped himself firmly into the pilot's seat of Wing ZERO, his heart heavy with a reluctance he had never experienced before when a mission was involved.  His nimble hands flew over the keyboard, inputting code after code in order to start the mecha giant.  He swallowed back nervousness and anticipation as Wing rumbled into action.  This was the first mission, that he could remember, that he had ever started with fear fluttering around inside him.  ZERO back, safe and sound, in its metal home and although would remain inactive until battle Heero could feel its presence.  Strong fingers gripped the controls as the pilot guided his partner out of the hangar before shifting the Gundam into bird-mode and taking off into the sky.

*          *          *

            "Stupid, evil, mean old man," Duo Maxwell muttered beneath his breath as he watched his new boyfriend and long-time love leave on yet another solo mission.  Lately Heero had been sent off on his own a lot, leaving Duo to either go solo himself or team up with Wufei; something that the Chinese man was not too pleased about.  The braided man was certain that there was a reason behind this increase.  Dr. J may not have raped Heero but he had hurt him . . .badly . . .and Duo would be damned if the scientist ever got his claws into Heero again.  The American frowned as he remembered the few precious minutes he had stolen with Heero before the Wing pilot was torn away by the call of duty.  His lips throbbed and he traced his tongue over them, savouring the taste of Heero on his flesh.  He couldn't help but hope that the Japanese boy completed his task soon so that he could taste his love once more.  "Moronic, /perverted/, son of a . . ."

*          *          *

            " #Your love is better than ice cream# " Quatre sang brightly and very out of tune as he strolled slowly down the stairs.  " #Better than anything else that I've tried, your love is - #  Um, ummmmm . . . #laaa laa laaa#" The words escaped the Arabian and he settled for 'la-ing' the rest of the song.  He reached his destination and smiled at nothing, feeling proud, although a little out of breath.  He turned the key in the door handle and opened the entrance to the basement, peering inside, using the light from the hallway to find the light switch.  Dull yellow light flickered from the single light bulb, as Quatre made his way inside he left the door open to add that extra bit of light.    The blond walked slowly down the stairs.  Piles upon piles of unopened boxes greeted him as he reached the cement floor.  Packed up in here were all of the pilot's possessions which had been shipped forward from their last safe house.  Feeling determined and stubborn the Sandrock pilot began to rummage through the boxes, climbing over some until he sank to the floor to catch his breath.  /It's got to be in here somewhere! / He thought desperately.

*          *          *

            Wufei stalked quickly towards the kitchen, his parched throat demanding water.  In his left hand he clutched his book tightly, knuckles white with strain, the title of the book could be glimpsed through slim fingers.  "Empathic Abilities" was written in gold leaf on the spine.  As he paced down the hallway he noticed the door of the basement was wide-open, allowing cold air to draft through the house.  Wufei glanced inside.  Seeing no one, he switched off the light and shut the door, locking it as he did so.  Presuming one of the other pilots had left the door open Wufei dismissed the issue, headed to the kitchen for refreshments, then out into the garden to continue his research in the comfort of nature.  

*          *          *

            Trowa awoke from sleep with a start as the vid-phone rang loudly.  Straightening his mussed bangs the European boy answered the phone to be greeted by his cheerful adoptive sister.  Greeting her with a nod and small smile he excused himself as he closed the door to his room.  Although he would never admit it Catherine had a tendency to be more than slightly embarrassing and he didn't wish or any of his fellow war comrades to overhear her questions and opinions.  Returning to the phone Trowa sat down resignedly and listened with half an ear as the protective brunette filled him in with the latest gossip from the circus.

*          *          *

            Quatre Rabera Winner froze as he was plunged into darkness, his search for his violin forgotten in an instant

            "Hello?" He yelled, but received no response.  His training as a fighter held away the inherent human fear of being alone in the dark.  Grumbling to himself Quatre fumbled around in the dark, desperately trying to recall the route he had taken.  He clambered over a box and cursed as his foot went through it and a dull smash filled the basement.  Hoping that he hadn't broken anything important the blonde stumbled on, hands flailing out in front of him in an attempt to find a wall.  After several falls, much cussing and a bruised head the Arabian finally managed to find the staircase and climbed in gingerly.  He reached the top and sighed with relief as he felt for the door handle.  He gripped the cool metal and turned.  Nothing happened.  The door was locked.

            "Hello?  Can anyone hear me?" Quatre yelled.  "Trowa!  Wufei!  Duo!  Heero?  Anyone?  HELP!" Eventually the Sandrock was forced to stop by his raw throat.  With a defeated sigh he sank to the floor and hugged his knees to his body.  Quatre shivered, uncomfortable with the deafening silence that surrounded him.  Needing some comfort, Quatre sank into himself and reached for the threads of light which linked him to those closest to his heart.  They were gone.  Panic set in and Quatre threw down all of his defensive barriers, he needed to feel something, anything, even if it hurt him.  There was nothing there; just the emptiness.  The blond was unaware of the tears slipping down his face as he desperately continued to try and pick up anything with his space heart.  Quatre's breath came in quick gasping breaths; his eyes wide open in the darkness streamed with tears as he submitted to a panic attack.  For the first time in his entire life Quatre Rabera Winner knew what it meant to be completely and utterly alone.

*          *          *

The lone Gundam stood on the barren field faced with a small regiment of low-grade mobile suits.  Heero had enough confidence in his abilities as a pilot to know that this battle was going to be easy.  The suits charged and Heero snorted in disgust at the lack of discipline in the ranks and seemingly non-existent battle plan they were using.  The Wing pilot brought out his beam sabre and stood ready; a small flash of surprise hit him when ZERO didn't take the chance to throw images at him, but it was quickly pushed aside as the first suit reached him.  It was suicidal really, the low-grade suit and the low-calibre pilot rushed Wing ZERO straight on and Heero didn't hesitate to carve the MS and its owner in half.  Heero sucked in a strangled gasp as a blinding flash seared his vision.  

            //  "C'mon Marie, don't worry dhar'lin," Jack Hopkins smiled warmly at his heavily pregnant wife.  "Jus' one more mission then I'm outta there.  It'll jus' be me, you, Carrie and our lil' boy forever, I promise." //

            // "Daddy!  I made yoo a card, come back soon ok?  I'll miss yoo!" //

            //Pain.  Searing hot pain.  The shadow of Death.  /I never got to hold my son . . ./ //

            A scream of pain tore itself from Heero Yuy's throat as he experienced Jack Hopkins death.  The main wave passed but the Japanese youth still shook in its after tremors as the next suit charged him.  Heero knew then why the ZERO system hadn't assaulted him with its usual barrage of horrifying images: it was using a new strategy to try and break the pilot.  ZERO had taken Quatre's empathic abilities and magnified them until Heero could feel everything his enemy felt.  He struggled valiantly to continue, his body fighting one half of the battle while his heart saw the other side.  Wave after wave of anger, hate and pain battered Heero until he became lost in the storm.  The fraction fighters landed blow after blow on Wing as its pilot was left unsure of which side he was fighting on.  

            So lost was the Perfect Soldier that he didn't hear the rumble which signified reinforcements.  He didn't feel the Earth shake as they landed.  He didn't see new models of mobile suits pour out of air carriers emblazoned with the Oz insignia and form tight, ordered formations around the Gundam.  All Heero Yuy could see, hear and feel was the hatred towards himself . . .

To be Continued . . .

A/N – This chapter is sponsered by "Don't Speak" by No Doubtand "Ice Cream" by Sarah McLachlan as sung by the wonderful Q.R. Winner.  Pls review!  Feed my addiction!


	16. "Golden Slumbers"

WARNINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero (Make that OOC everyone!), Heero torture, hints of NCS (Non-consensual sex, rape), abuse of Wufei's name, foul language (*Gasps* Oo, shocking!), bastardised Dr. J, violence, fluffiness, darkness, paranormalness (Is that a word?), extreme mushiness, a lickle bit of Quatre torture for added spice and WAFFiness (All together now…awwww!).

Thank yous – Karasuko (Ur right it has to end somewhere and we are nearing the end now! *sniff*), moonbunny317, Mikagirl, Relwarc, Katie, CobaltPrincess (read and find out! ^_^), sapphire, Anna, Princess of Destrucion (Reviewer 200! Woohoo!  Ii have an idea 4 a plot!), Ex2 (Duo is kool, but Heero is kewler! In my opinion anyway! ^_^), Princess Lightina ((x2) U really thought it was funny?  That's ace!  Yay!), firelight (For the most part I don't think the Oz soldiers r bad guys, they follow their orders just like the G-boyz) and Ephy (Wow! Ur English is really good!  Thank u!) . . .*Bearhugs all reviewers and readers, refuses to let go until everyone reviews this chapter* Mwahaha!

A/N – Ok everyone I'm sorry to say that we are nearing the end of this lickle ficcy of mine.  I figure that after this one there will be 2 more chapters then that's it! *sobs*  I don't want it to end!!!

Disclaimer – If you really think that I own the song that I use in this chapter you are certifiable!  Maybe if I was from Liverpool, was one of the best songwriters ever and was in the most influential band ever to grace this planet you'd be in with a shot.  But I'm not.  So there.

Golden Slumbers belongs to The Beatles, not me.

Harmless Heart – Chapter 16

"Golden Slumbers"

#Once there was a way to get back homeward.

Once there was a way to get back home.

Sleep pretty darling, do not cry,

And I will sing a lullaby.#

"O…on my o-own," a small, shaky voice filled the dark room as its owner desperately tried to pierce the deafening silence as save himself from insanity.  "P-pretending…h-he's beside m-" The voice trembled and broke into heaving sobs which in time faded away into silence.  Quatre Rabera Winner hugged his body, feverish hands running up and down his legs, in an attempt to remind himself that he was still alive.  That he still existed.  He leaned against the door which barred his escape from this black hell.  His scrambling hands found the wood, solid English oak, and began to pound and scratch at the barrier.  Skin on knuckles split and tore as splinters separated themselves from the door.  Slivers of wood buried themselves beneath which broke or bent backwards under pressure.  Oblivious to the pain, due to the adrenaline of desperation, the boy continued his plight.

*          *          *

            Trowa walked gracefully down the stairs, his movements as precise and controlled as a cat.  One hand lightly massaged his temples in an attempt to ease the nagging headache brought on by his "sisters" ramblings.  As he reached the bottom of the stairs a dull scratching reached his trained ears.  Moving almost silently the uni-bane man drew his handgun from a holster on his hip.  Holding the weapon at the ready Trowa unlocked the basement door and pulled it open in one fluid movement.  A blond figure fell backwards onto the carpet at Trowa's feet.  The European had a bullet aimed at the figures brain before his face even registered.  Emerald eyes widened and gun was quickly holstered as he recognised his lover.  Quatre's body was undergoing terrible shaking convulsions.  His face was extremely pale, tear-stained and his eyes were screwed shut in pain.  His once immaculate musicians hands, which had held no hint of the killer he was, were now torn and bloodied.

            "Quatre?" Trowa breathed quietly in shock.  At the sound of his voice blue eyes shot wide open, only to narrow to slits against the sudden brightness.  A chocked sob was all the warning Trowa received before his Arabian lover threw his arms around his neck and clung tightly to him.  The Heavyarms pilot rocked him back and forth slowly, ran tender hands through blond locks and murmured comforting nothings to a frightened boy.  Quatre was trying to explain what had happened but he couldn't quite get the words out, so he settled for simply feeling his angels comforting presence in his arms.

#Golden slumbers fill your eyes,

Smiles awake you when you rise.

Sleep pretty darling, do not cry,

And I will sing a lullaby.#

            Duo Maxwell sat in the hangar which contained the Gundams, staring accusingly at the empty spot which marked the absence of his comrade.  Frustration was knawing at him slowly and he was gradually reaching the end of his patience.  He glanced down at his watch and saw that there were still several hours before Heero was due to return.  That was the final straw.

            "Forget this!" The American scorned as he rose from his seat and stalked purposefully towards Deathscythe.  The chestnut braid streamed out behind him as Duo jammed his black cap onto his head.

            "Going somewhere Maxwell?" A cool voice inquired as its owners stepped out from the shadows of Nataku with a smirk on his face.

            "'Fei!" Duo yelled in mock anger.  "Jeez, ya scared me to death!"

            "Avoiding the question are we?" Was the calm reply.  Duo frowned.

            "Yeah, not that it's any of your business!" The braided buy answered tartly.  Wufei's dark eyes lost their teasing tone and looked at his seriously.

            "I'm going with you," the Chinese man stated firmly, causing Duo to flounder for a moment.  "You're going after Yuy and so am I," As Duo opened his mouth to ask questions Wufei held up a hand for silence.  "No time. If I'm right, Yuy will be requiring assistance sometime soon."

*          *          *

            Fighting his way through earth-shaking pain the ZERO pilot gained some semblance of control only to find that somehow his situation had become ten times worse.  He was surrounded.  The number of suits he faced had trebled, there were advanced Oz suits and experienced soldiers fleshing out the fraction fighters ranks.  Instead of random charges all MS's were in formation and Heero could see that restless movement of the right flank which indicated a charge.  True to his prediction the right flank rushed him in a solid wall of death.  Bracing himself Heero brought up Wing's beam cannon and fired. The golden energy tore through the air and simply disintegrated any and all obstacles which barred its path.    Although prepared the multiple deaths caused immense pain to wash through the now fragile body of Heero Yuy.  The fight dragged on and each opponent the Wing pilot killed tore at his heart.  Hatred was still thick in the air and it was becoming increasingly difficult for the moss haired boy to fight on.  The final blow came when Heero made a desperate attempt to escape the battle by breaking though the ranks.  He murdered an Oz pilot.  Her name was Daine Crawford.  She was thirteen weeks pregnant.  Her belly was small enough that he superior thought she had just piled on a few pounds and she had wanted so much to have a chance for vengeance against the man who had killed her brother.  Mother and child were killed in one fell swoop and Heero found that he couldn't face the pain.  He fell into unconsciousness: Wing ZERO fell to the ground.

*          *          *

            Duo and Wufei raced towards the co-ordinated they had lifted from Heero's laptop, pushing the engines of their carrier to the maximum.  As they neared the area they set the carrier plane to autopilot and manned their Gundams.  The two started the giant machines and established a comm-link just as the hangar dropped open and they made the perilous leap onto the battlefield.  They had caught the enemy off guard.  The new fraction fighters were out of their suits and engaging in conversation.  Both pilots were surprised to see that there were plenty of Oz pilots in the mix.  Seeing to two mechas sent panic rippling through the ranks and pilots scrambling to their suits.  Confusion ran riot in Duo's mind, this was suppose to be a battle but it looked more like a tea party or celebration . . .

            "01 is down, I repeat, 01 is down!" Wufei's strained voice filled the cockpit of Deathscythe and Duo gaped when he saw that it was true.  Wing ZERO was down and surrounded by guards in MS's who had their rifles trained on the hatch.  Shinigami's feral growl echoed though the airwaves as the enraged man saw red.  

            "No-one touches what belongs to the God of Death!" With that Duo ploughed forward, thermal scythe spinning in impressive arcs as it carved through MS after MS.  With a grim smile Wufei followed Duo's path of blood onto the battlefield.

            "Justice /will/ be served!"

            The element of surprise meant that the battle was short and bloody.  When all enemies had been obliterated Duo dropped from Deathscythe and clambered up onto the fallen Wing.  Nataku remained as a lookout whilst Duo opened the hatch hurriedly.  The metal obstruction opened to show a battered Heero who was stirring from the depths of oblivion.  The braided boy watched in horrified fascination as tears began to seep from closed eyes and ragged sobs tore from his loved ones throat.  Duo undid the harness and pulled Heero into his arms.

            "D-D-Duo..?" The once perfect soldier asked in a tremulous voice.  Duo murmured his assent as he pulled his koi from the cockpit and carried him over to the Oz plane which would serve as their getaway vehicle.  Once their gear was loaded up Duo allowed Wufei to take the pilots seat, preferring to hold his love in his arms and hum a soft tune in his ear.  Heero felt the tender glow of love surrounding him and pushed away his newly acquired demons to be dealt with at a later time.  For now he was content to bask in comfort and drift into a darkness which wasn't cold and harsh but warm and comforting.

#Once there was a way to get back homeward.

Once there was a way to get back home.

Sleep pretty darling, do not cry,

And I will sing a lullaby.#

To be Continued . . . 

A/N – Damn I love that song!  Its from their Abbey Road album if anyones wondering!


	17. "Carry That Weight"

WARNINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero (Make that OOC everyone!), Heero torture, abuse of Wufei's name, foul language (*Gasps* Oo, shocking!), bastardised Dr. J, violence, fluffiness, darkness, paranormalness (Is that a word?), extreme mushiness, a lickle bit of Quatre torture for added spice, WAFFiness (All together now…awwww!) blatant referance to NCS (non-consensual sex, rape) and limeiness.

EXTRA WARNING – Ok this chapter is probably NC-17 but I don't want to change the rating for the entire fic.  There is guy on guy nekkid action but no sex.  So read with caution!  I don't want any flames complaining about it, I warned you, you don't HAVE to read it!

Disclaimer – EEK!  I forgot to mention that the song Quatre sings at the beginning on Chapter 17  is from the wonderful musical "Les Miserables", which I have had the privilege of seeing!  Therefore I don't own it and the song used in this chapter is called "Carry that Weight" and was written by the Beatles.  (Anyone who owns the Abbey Road album can see where I'm going with this!)

Thank yous – Yonaka no Inu-Ryuu (Don't worry, this parts longer!), Karasuko (*beams* Thank you!), sapphire, Bleeding Star Goddess, Katie, Dreamer, BlackWind, Princess of Destrustion (Mwhaha!  I have an idea 4 the 2xH fic! ^___^ finally!), Anna, CobaltPrincess, ThatGirl, Empress Yue (Korn rawk!!! Ahem, sorry!), Princess Lightina, Sakura Maxwell (Sorry if I caused confusion!  I didn't mean too, it just happened!) and Unholy Quintet . . .*Huggles all tightly*  Thank you for visiting Harmless Heart!  Please review again!

Harmless Heart - Chapter 17  
 "Carry that Weight"  
  
#Boy you're gonna carry that weight, carry that weight,  
A long time. #

  
        Four Gundam pilots crowed anxiously around the bed of Heero Yuy, watching as the Japanese boy writhed and cried out in the grip of a sedative, which should have placed him in a dreamless slumber. All of them were deeply disturbed by the sight that lay before them. Heero had always been the core of their strength; he was powerful, he was undefeatable, he was perfect. And now he was broken. A fragile doll that had been thrown to the ground by a careless child. He was battered and bruised. He was painfully thin, bordering on malnutrition. He was in pain; the evidence was starkly obvious as tears streamed down his sallow cheeks and his expression contorted in torment. Since they had returned to the safe house Heero had been drifting in and out of consciousness. When he was awake he had suffered from panic attacks, hyperventilating until he passed out again. When he was asleep he was haunted by vivid dreams, crying out names of people they knew and many that were unfamiliar. Eventually they had been forced to administer the strongest sedative they had in their possession but it had helped very little.  
        Wufei stood silently by the end of the bed watching the scene unfold with sombre onyx eyes. His mind raced as he tried to think of a way to put the information he had uncovered to good use. The books he had managed to get hold of had revealed startling facts which had stirred him into following Duo and aiding him in Heero's recovery. He had learned that people were born into their empathy and spent their life building up intricate walls and defences against overwhelming emotional pain. One Para researcher had gone into vast amounts of detail about her theory that any empathic abilities, which were not present at birth, could cause the owner to go insane, due to the emotional turmoil they would be open too. There had also been a few vague chapters discussing possible transference of powers and methods of reversal. Wufei could only hope that he would get the chance to test them out. He wanted to help both of his friends.  
        Quatre Raberba Winner clung tightly to Trowa's arm, pressing against his side and resting his head against his shoulder. The blond refused to let go. He shivered continually, his body reacting to his emotions. To Quatre the loss of his Space Heart was just as devastating as loosing any other of his senses. For as long as he could remember he had always been emotionally connected to someone and now those bonds had been brutally severed. He felt crippled. Tightening his grip Quatre turned his eyes away from Heero's pain wracked form. It unnerved him to be able to see his pain, but not to feel it.  
        Trowa Barton murmured comforting words to his lover. The Heavy Arms pilot was at a loss. In this situation there was nothing he could do to help anyone. The European wanted to growl his frustration, but was determined to help his lover in anyway he could, so he kept up his quiet murmurs. The soft whispers were the only other sound in the room and served as the binary opposite to the harsh cries and screams of Heero.  
        Duo sat by Heero's side, watching him with sick violet eyes. Occasionally he would try to comfort the sleeping boy but had only succeeded in increasing his panic, which in turn increased Duo's depression. The initial fury at seeing Heero downed by the enemy had subsided but still flickered, red and angry under the surface, at every whimper which escaped the Japanese boys lips.  
        Heero Yuy was still fighting. The battlefield stretched on and on, the brown earth stained red with the blood of his victims. He stood alone on the battle field, gun in hand, facing an endless sea of faces and all of them had a past, a family, a home, but no future. And behind the Perfect Soldier stood, as always, Dr. J. The scientist guided his motions, his voice filled his mind as the teacher commanded and the pupil obeyed. One by one the victims fell under the unending barrage of Heero's bullets. He felt /everything/. Every bullet that was fired tore through his own skin, every tear that they cried fell from his own sore blue eyes and every scream of pain and fear tore from his raw and bleeding throat. This was hell.

  
#Boy you're gonna carry that weight, carry that weight,  
A long time. #

  
        Suddenly the blood soaked earth was replaced by lush green grass and the faint sound of a dogs yapping reached his sensitive ears. Panic welled up inside of him and he tried to close his eyes against the all too familiar scene. /Not here, please! Anywhere but here!/ His body moved against his orders as he turned to face an innocent girl and her puppy, Mary. He felt her happiness, her joy that came from simply being alive and as the scene shifted he felt that contentment shatter as confusion, fear and pain filled her. The sensations intensified and Heero could feel the flames lick his skin until they became totally unbearable and Mary's owner was killed. With a startled gasp Heero sat up on his bed, eyes wide and panicked until his gaze caught Duo's and some semblance of calm reached his unsettled mind.   
        "Hee-chan?" Duo ventured almost timidly, unsure of what to say to the frightened boy before him. Tearful blue eyes bored into his and Duo has the unsettling sensation that the world had been turned upside down.  Before he could say another word the Deathscythe pilot found his arms full of Heero Yuy, who clung to his shirt and buried his face into the crook of his neck. Heart-wrenching sobs escaped Heero's throat one after the other. Duo wrapped his arms around the other boys form, resting his head atop Heero's, relief that his love was conscious washed over him, battling with the worry and anger which still had a strong hold. Suddenly feeling like intruders Wufei and Trowa shared a significant glance; Quatre still having a death grip on Trowa's arm. Silently coming to an agreement Wufei and Trowa quietly herded the blonde from the room.  
        Duo gave his friends a small smile of appreciation as they closed the door behind them, before turning his full attention back to Heero. Carefully the braided man gripped Heero's chin and tilted his head back until their eyes locked. Heero felt his cheeks heating in embarrassment as he realised he had just been crying into Duo's shirt.  
        "Are you alright?" Duo asked softly, his voice rough with emotion. Some people looked like hags when they cry. Heero looked beautiful. His skin was flushed, his eyes were wide and glistening, his lips slightly parted as ragged breaths escaped him. The Wing pilot nodded that he was, not trusting his voice to answer. Unlike Duo, Heero was not above telling a lie.   
        Duo burned with sudden passion as the sight of Heero looking so vulnerable reminded him of the soft fleeting kiss that the two had shared. He wanted to feel that again. He needed it. Without warning Duo leapt forwards and captured Heero's lips in a kiss. For a few shocked seconds the perfect soldier remained unresponsive before, after what felt like a small eternity, returning Duo's advances. The self-proclaimed God of Death pulled Heero against his chest tightly, possessively. In response Heero tilted back his head and parted his lips, allowing the Deathscythe pilot to deepen the kiss.  Duo began to kiss Heero with an almost fevered passion, his tongue thrust into Heero's mouth as his hands found their way beneath Heero's tank top to cares his abdomen and make swipes at his nipples.  Heero moaned and gasped into Duo's mouth, his mind becoming a jumble of pleasure and disorientation swept over him as Duo pressed him back onto the bed.

#I never give you my pillow,

I only send you my invitations.

And in the middle of the celebrations

I break down.#

        Passion and hormones rose to the forefront of Duo's mind as he quickly divested himself of clothing and then proceeded to tear away Heero's own.  The braided man then continued his exploration of his loves body, so lost in his senses that he did not notice that Heero was no longer responding to his touch.  The injured boy lay back on the bed, his breathing short an shallow, blue eyes wide and locked on the ceiling, as dark memories paralysed him.  The emotions that he could feel clearly from Duo were quickly taking on a more sinister tone.  Warmth, love and concern were overtaken by animalistic lust and desperation with startling bursts of anger whenever Duo came across a wound on Heero's body.  Fear grew inside Heero as the Deathscythe pilot's hands became bolder and ventured further south.  The panic swelled to bursting point as he felt a questing finger press against his entrance and hear Duo's lust filled voice rasp in his ear.

        "This will only hurt a little,"

        /Never again! /

        Heero began to fight.  Duo's half lidded violet eyes shot wide open as his lover suddenly began to panic beneath him.  Had the Wing ZERO pilot been at full strength Duo would have been sent across the room as he was, injured and drugged, it proved no challenge for the L2 thief to capture his partners wrists and restrain him to the bed, pinning him down with his own, naked, body.  All sexual thoughts and feelings drained from Duo as he peered worriedly down at the Japanese youth.  Heero's face was clenched in frustration, tears of humiliation seeped from behind closed eyes as he murmured something repeatedly beneath his breath.

        "Stop hurting me.  I won't let you hurt me any more.  I won't let you hurt me anymore," The fragile figure whispered those words in a mantra causing Duo to almost panic himself, not sure of what to do.  Coming to a decision the longhaired boy released his grip on Heero's wrists and backed off, sitting on the very edge of the bed in what he hoped was a relaxed, vulnerable position.  The second he was released Heero sat up and shuffled back on the bed until he felt the solid wall behind him.  How long they sat in that position, eying each other warily, neither of them had any idea.  Slowly Heero's panic subsided but he remained visibly shaken and nervous as he returned to sit at Duo's side.

        "I think that we need to talk," Duo said quietly as not to startle his uneasy lover.  "About our pasts, about everything, before we try something like that again."  And so they did.  For the rest of the night and well into the morning, two adults before their time spoke of laboratories and churches, scientists and Sisters, isolation and loss, torture and torment.  They shared no more caresses, kisses or even hugs that night, simply sitting side by side as both of them bared their souls for the first time in their short but harsh lives.  Something almost miraculous happened to both of them during their confessions; burdens, which they had been carrying for as long as they could remember, were lifted from their shoulders and they greeted the sunrise together.

#Boy you're gonna carry that weight, carry that weight,  
A long time. 

Boy you're gonna carry that weight, carry that weight,  
A long time. #

A/N – No cliffhangar!  There's no cliffhangar!  What's going on?!  Is it me?!?


	18. "The End"

WARNINGS - Angst (by the shovel full!), shounen ai (Guyxguy), OOC Heero (Make that OOC everyone!), Heero torture, abuse of Wufei's name, foul language (*Gasps* Oo, shocking!), bastardised Dr. J, violence, fluffiness, darkness, paranormalness (Is that a word?), extreme mushiness, a lickle bit of Quatre torture for added spice, WAFFiness (All together now…awwww!) blatant referance to NCS (non-consensual sex, rape) and limeiness.

WELCOME TO THE DISCLAIMER, THAT'S RIGHT, THE DISCLAIMER!  Ok, enough of the Offspring referance…I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters, or the song "The End" by the Beatles, or the computer I'm typing this on, or the English Language . . .there ya go . . .

Thank yous – Tenshi Eleison, Karasuko (No..anything but the chibi eyes!!!),  sapphire (aw, ya made me blush! Lol!), Dinara, purrfect679 ((x7?!) ^_^ I'm glad to find someone picked up on all the lickle bits of humour I dropped in…I think the fic would be too dark without them), Darkstar02, Princess Lightina (I thought ppl would have found the conversation boring, y'know Solo, Helen, Dr. J and torture, same old, same old…I'm sorry!) and Cobalt Princess (In about 5-6 paragraphs! ^_^;;) . . .thank you all so much! *glomps*  thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Note – To all of my English readers who aren't anarchists happy Golden Jubilee and #All you need is love!  All together now!#

Harmless Heart – Chapter 18 

"The End"

# Oh yeah! 

Alright! #

          "Are you both ready?" Wufei asked seriously, looking at Heero and Quatre in turn.  Both pilots were looking pale and strained but nodded their heads in agreement.  Although the method they were about to try was obviously the safest and most likely to work there was still a risk, as there was when anything involving the astral planes took place.  The blonde wrapped his arms around Trowa's waist for a moment before releasing him and turning to face Wufei.  Duo moved to echo Quatre's action but seeing the slight flinch on Heero's face he backed off, realising that one night of talking had done little to completely heal their problems.  "Physical contact must be maintained," Wufei continued, reciting instructions he had memorised perfectly.  "Once you sink into a trance and reach the astral plane, things should work themselves out automatically."

          "Meaning?" Heero demanded, regaining a hint of his former steel in his words and attitude.  Duo and Trowa, who were watching the proceeds from the background in silence, were glad he asked because they weren't following Wufei either.

          "A part of your spirit is trapped within me," Quatre attempted to explain, seeing that Wufei was beginning to lose what little temperance he possessed.  "But that part of your spirit wants to return to you, when we reach to the astral plane it will be free to do so.  And visa versa.  Understand?"  Heero nodded slowly, suddenly glad for the part of his training, which had involved falling into a trance at, will.  Duo and Trowa shared a significant glance, which clearly stated 'Not really!'  

          "Lets get started," Wufei commanded.  "We'll need absolute silence." He stated, arching an eyebrow in Duo's direction.  The braided boy merely looked back with an innocent expression and mouthed the word 'Me?'  Wufei snorted and then focused on the task at hand.  Quatre and Heero both sat down on the floor and crossed their legs before reaching forwards and grasping the others hand palm to palm.  Blue eyes drifted shut as the two pilots raced towards ascended consciousness.  Quatre fought against the almost overwhelming temptation to shake off Heero's grip and bury himself in the arms of his lover as he descended into darkness.  Heero's decent meant that his meagre walls crashed down once more and for a split second he was paralysed by pure emotion, but before the paralysis could wear off the feelings disappeared.  They had arrived.  

          Heero Yuy opened his eyes and knew instantly that he was no longer on Earth.  In retrospect he never saw the landscape he stood in, his focus was solely on the shimmering figure he was linking hands with.  The figure was defiantly Quatre, it had the same build and features but was blurred around the edges.  Quatre's figure was flooded with amazing, vibrant and yet almost gentle colours, a deep cornflower blue pulsed within him, blending with smaller wisps of emerald green centring around a core of blinding whiteness.

          Quatre Rabera Winner gazed straight back at Heero with equal fascination.  This was the first time he had seen one of his comrades' actual Astral Body.  Gazing at Heero's form the fist coherent thought that came into Quatre's mind was lightning.  Luminous prussian blue flashed and fought with a vibrant violet.  But beneath the showy beauty lay an ominous blackness at Heero's core which made the Arabian nauseous.  However hope lay there too, small white sparks which were struggling to hold off the darkness.  

          Time resumed its course.  A feeling of premonition hit both boys before they were hit head on by the proverbial train and knocked out and out of the Astral Plane. 

*        *        *

          Quatre moaned in his sleep and rubbed at his chest in an attempt to relieve some of the worry he felt streaming from his lover.  That sleep-muddled feeling was enough to jar Quatre to full consciousness.  Lying perfectly still Quatre reached out and couldn't stop the deliriously happy laugh which escaped him when he felt his loves emotions as clear as day.  Trowa, who was sitting in the window seat of Quatre's room, found himself well and truly glomped by a blonde blur.  A quiet chuckle escaped Trowa's lips as the smaller boy proceeded to plaster him in butterfly kisses.  The Arabian grinned madly as he felt Trowa's joy magnify his own.  No words were required to explain that Wufei's plan had delivered the goods, it was all to obvious by the unbound love and happiness which filled the room as Trowa pressed Quatre back onto the window seat, completely forgetting about the bed.

# Are you gonna be in my dreams . . .

Tonight? #

          Heero was dreaming again.  This time it was solely focused on his last battle.  However this time something was different.  This time he had hope.  He didn't know why.  He continued to fight against the pain, knowing that he just had to wait for something . . .someone to pull him from his own personal hell.  Then he was falling and there was a moment of darkness before the hatch opened and a slender hand pulled him out into the light.  /Duo./  

          "Duo," the man in question snapped to attention when he heard the sleeping boy murmur his name and moved to perch on the end of Heero's bed.  Prussian blue eyes snapped open, clouded with fear and suspicion for one perilous moment before recognition set in.  The Japanese boy could see concern in violet eyes but couldn't feel it inside.  A stupid and unreasonable feeling of loss set in at that thought.  "It's gone," Heero stated and it took an incredible amount of self-control to keep his voice from breaking.  Duo simply looked at him, knowing when to keep quiet and opened his arms.  He didn't move forwards or speak, simply gave Heero and invitation and more importantly, the choice to refuse or accept.  There was a tense moment in which neither moved a muscle.  And then Heero was in Duo's arms.

# And in the end . . .#

          "05, where's 01?" Duo yelled frantically from Death scythe's cockpit, executing a spin with his scythe and cleaving a MS in two.  Wufei took a moment after crushing the head of a Suit with his dragon fang to yell  "No idea!"

          "03?  04?" Duo questioned his voice bordering on panicked.   Before either of the two in question could answer there was an almighty explosion from the MS factory that destroyed a fair number of suits and pushed the Gundams back a few metres.  Then Wing ZERO was above them, catching the sun as it transformed from bird-mode.  A relieved smile lit Duo's face as Heero established a vid link with him and gave his lover a sharp nod. 

"Don't worry!  We saved ya a piece of the action!" Duo quipped, throwing Heero a wink for good measure.  Wings' beam cannon dropped to the ground and the beam sabre flared into life as Heero joined the fray.  Trowa recommended battle strategies to his enemies even as his riddled them with bullets and missiles.  Wufei released a savage battle cry as he swung his glaive in a complex pattern dance to keep his enemy occupied before blasting them to smithereens with a well-timed burst of flame.  Quatre was silent apart from the odd apology which escaped him as he carved a path through the battlefield.  With his worries for Heero put to one side Duo allowed himself to sink into that familiar battle haze and let his sinister alter-ego take control of Deathscythe.  Heero allowed himself the smallest of smiles as the familiar obscenities filled the airwaves, announcing that Shinigami was out to play.  The Japanese youth pressed down on a well-used button on Wings console and braced himself as a golden haze flared into life.  Well in control Heero used the ZERO system to its full extent as he and his beam sabre traversed the skies above the battlefield, taking down Oz air suits almost effortlessly.

#…The love you take…#

Thirty-seven and a half minutes later the Gundam pilots had well and truly won the battle.  Fifty-three and a quarter minutes after that they touched down at their safe house.  The five young men dropped to the concrete and headed as one towards the kitchen.  After five appetites and two fires, courtesy of Duo Maxwell, had been extinguish the five spilt to gain a well-deserved bit of R&R.  Wufei was fine-tuning his motorbike after Duo's earlier exploits.  Trowa had rescued his flute and Quatre's violin from the basement and the two were currently converting Wufei's study into a music room.  

Heero Yuy was typing up a mission report on his laptop in the room he shared with Duo.  Said boy was lying on his bed munching on an Oreo cookie while reading a manga.  To the untrained eye it would appear that nothing had changed in the world of the five fighters.  But anyone who was looking for it would notice that Heero's eyes weren't focused on the text that he was touch-typing automatically but on the reflection of the boy lying on the bed.  Prussian blue eyes still possessed the power to send anyone who wasn't Duo, or a certain pink obsessed female who shall remain nameless, running for cover.  However if you could withstand the 'death glare' you could see that the previous ice which had always been present was no longer present.

"Hee-chan!  Come and keep me company! Duo called, violet eyes sparking with mischief.  Annoying the stotic boy when he was attempting to write mission report was one of Duo's absolute favourite pastimes.  The Deathscythe pilot's eyebrows shot up in an expression of disbelief as Heero shut his laptop and left his seat to sit by Duo's side.

"Problem?" Heero asked, monotonous voice coloured by a hint of humour at Duo's shocked expression.

"Not at all!" Duo laughed and pulled Heero in for a quick kiss.  "Not at all . . ."

# . . .Is equal to the love you make. #

A/N – Well folks this really is "The End".  There will be no epilogues or sequels to this fic, I feel it has fulfilled its potential.  I want to thank everyone who has reviewed and an extra special thank you to all those reviewers who have followed this fic through.  I would list specific ppl, but I'd miss someone out and then I'd feel bad.  Thanks again everyone!  Please review on your way out . . .it's your last chance!

Lots of luv,

Faith.


End file.
